The Young And The Hopeless || Cashton

Entry xv

Ashton's POV. (Saturday.)

It's been just about one week since Michael's been gone, and throughout the entire week I have done nothing but cry. I physically, mentally and emotionally could not do anything. I just wanted to feel numb, make the pain of losing a best friend go away, but luck is never on my side and the numb feeling goes. I had to fix myself. I couldn't keep grieving. I needed to work, I needed to clean up, I needed to pay rent. If I stayed at home crying all the time, I wouldn't be able to do it.

I got a week break from work, but they needed someone in today urgently and I accepted. It was the first step of my plan to get my life back together. It may seem too soon, but that's life for you when you grow up.

The metro kept filling up with people at every stop, it kept losing people with every stop as well. Some stops more people left or entered in, other stops hardly anyone left but many came in. 

Then there was Calum's stop. It's been just about a week since I had seen the boy with the most beautiful brown eyes. Throughout the week, he wasn't on my mind much, which was a first since the moment my eyes landed on him. I didn't know if it was a good thin or not, not thinking about him. Thought I'd much rather the thought of the beautiful boy than my dead best friend. 

He walked in, looking left and right before he spotted me. His eyes widened, his face confused. I smiled and waved. He furrowed his eyebrows, no longer looking confused. He looked mad, like he had just been betrayed. He looked away and walked the other direction. I felt hurt for i thought we had something more special than to just ignore each other. We had spoken to one another everyday before Michael died, we had spent every moment on the metro together while he was still on, so why did he ignore me today.