✧~= unfinished thoughts =~✧

✧ the high side, the low side, and all in between ✧

seokjin gripped at his hair in frustration. his life was falling apart before his very eyes. his parents were divorcing, his brother tried to kill himself and has been in the icu for over a month now, his girlfriend broke up with him because his situation was "too much for her", and his grades have been dropping. he had betrayed his one true friend for a shot at popularity and now everything was bleak.

he missed riding bikes in the warm summer sun, skin tanned a honey golden glazed, fingers sticky from the popsicle he bought with pocket change from that little corner store. he missed sitting under the towering apple trees in the meadow just outside of town, wondrous scents attacking his nose, the buzzing of bees coating the warm, heavy air.

he missed bringing along those old portable radios,
the small, expensive ones and setting them inside his pastel pink bike basket, the one his friend made fun of every time they went out.

"it's kinda stupid lookin', jinnie."

"so are your converse, but i don't say anything about them."

he missed their playful bickering, back and forth arguments about trivial things. he missed teasing his friend about his ratty converse, saying that he'd probably use them until they fell apart while he was walking.

he missed going over to his friend's house and helping his mother cook dinner or lunch while his friend sat back and watched with an amazed look on his face. he missed lying with him in the study and reading random books off the shelf until they got too bored and decided to go elsewhere.

he hadn't noticed the tears cascading down his rosy cheeks until a few drops fell onto his open palm. only then did he let out a breath of air he had been holding. only then did he let the sobs bubble up from the depths of his throat, filling up the suffocating silence of his bedroom with his pathetic whimpers.

he felt alone. truly alone. the 'friends' he had made when he got accepted into the 'popular' clique were all fakes. they would wring you dry of your secrets and strike the moment they saw any weakness within you, then hang you out to dry as an example to the lowly students too pathetic to become anything more than slaves to the King and Queen of the school.

he hadn't even realized where his feet were taking him until he was knocking on the all too familiar spruce door. he curled in on himself, ashamed that he would even dare to show his face on their doorstep again after what happened. he froze, unable to decide if he should turn and walk away or wait for someone to answer the door.

it seems he hadn't decided quick enough, as the door was already opening. he remained stock still, eyes downcast and focused on the letters below his feet. "what do you want."

seokjin looked up, locking eyes with his former best friend and longtime crush since he realized he liked boys. tears threatened to spill over when he saw how tired the boy looked, how baggy that t-shirt was looking on him, and was that a bruise on his cheek?

the boy's face was contorted, eyebrows knit together, his jaw locked. jin took note of this almost immediately. he could tell now that the man before him was angry and probably annoyed. "i'm sorry- i'll just- i'm sorry."

if it wasn't obvious from his appearance, you could tell from his voice that he had been crying. more tears had already started to free flow. swiftly turning on his heel, seokjin turned his back to his former crush and quickly walked down the path , gripping at his forearms tightly, knuckles turning white from the force.

what he had expected at first, didn't happen. he thought it would've been like in those cheesy comics where the main characters are fighting and one tries to leave, and the other person stops them and then pulls the first person into a kiss or something.