N Has Fallen

XXVII - Gibel

XXVII - Gibel

Gibel
/GEE-bel/
noun
(Russian) not death, not suicide, but simply ceasing to exist; deteriorating in a way that is painful for others; destruction; ruin

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She felt someone beside her. She wanted to open her eyes but it felt so heavy. Slowly, her lids opened, squinting when she saw the harsh lights. She felt light headed for a moment that she closed her eyes for a while to wash it away. Then she heard a sob.

Even if it took everything in her to open her eyes, she still did. Beside her was Noah, his head bent, his shoulder shaking with every cry that he made. He looked so...defeated.

"N-Noah." She croaked out, stealing his attention.

Immediately, his eyes searched for hers. His eyes held so much pain for someone who inflicted it. Without any warning, he rushed to her side and hugged her. "I didn't k-know. I'm so s-sorry." His voice was broken, it felt like she couldn't breathe. He was hugging her so tightly.

When he saw her in that state in the elevator, he felt as if someone stabbed him in his chest more times than he can count. He saw her eyes closing, he felt her breathing stopped for a second and in those moments he felt like he was the one dying. His world stopped and a thousand scenarios appeared on his head. All of them not pleasant. He couldn't live without her. He just wanted to make sure she's far away from his mess, safe from his enemies but why does it seem like she needed to be safe from him? "I'm so sorry." He kept repeating those words, as if he could make her feel alright. But he knows he can't. He pleaded to Him continuously to make her okay. He couldn't live with himself if something bad happens to her. But then again, the worst happened. You've hurt her. She felt used. You know all of these that happened is nothing compared to what she felt inside.

She pushed him away after finding the strength to do so. Her eyes held tears she didn't want to shed. "I don't understand you." She told him. Frankly. Honestly. Her voice dejected and heartbroken. "Why do you say things like you mean it but act like you don't?" He said he didn't love her but why does he act like he does? It broke her heart, how he's so good at playing her. She didn't want to be confused. But all he did was puzzle her already disoriented heart.

He pulled away from her and it was like it answered her questions. The action itself refused her of answers. Maybe. Maybe he really didn't love her. He would just feel bad if something bad were to happen to her because afterall, he claimed that she saved his life.

Nodding like she understood his answer without him saying it, she swung her feet off his bed, sat up and faced him. Her will was too weak, her tears were profusely falling from her eyes. She loves him so much. What would it take to make him stay? She sniffed, her head bent and with shaking hands she started unbuttoning her shirt.

"What are you doing?" She heard him speak. But she paid no attention, all she thought of was making him stay. Would he still leave her if she fully gave herself to him? She knew it was pathetic but she loves him so much. So much.

"Stop." Standing up, he raked his hands though his hair. But he saw her not stopping. He stooped down to her level and grabbed her shaking hands. "Stop. Please." He closed his eyes, his tears falling the moment he did. Because he knew, he had ruined her. He knew his Jessica wouldn't ever be the same again and it was because of him.

"S-stay. P-please." She begged and brought his head to her chest, hugging him close. "D-don't leave me. I promise I would be better. I promise I would kiss you better." She kissed his head, closed her eyes and wept because she knew this would be her last chance to beg him. If he still wouldn't want her, then she'll go away even if it kills her inside. She won't be begging for his love and attention again. Just this once, she let herself beg. "I-I promise to do anything you want. Just don't leave me, p-please?" They stayed like that for moments, her hugging him close and him cherishing each second that she held him in her arms.