CHAPTER 4: Mama we all go to hell... but not you

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(EDITED)

A/N Everyone is brilliant and the amount of support for this story is astounding. I love you all so much *Virtual hugs*

"NO SON OF MINE WILL KISS A BOY" My father yelled through his drunken rage.

I cried out in pain as the knife he was holding slice through the skin on my back. He laughed as he carved the words 'Die Faggot'.

"Daddy, I'm sorry!" My younger self whimpered through my tears.

"YOU ARE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME AND YOUR MOTHER. WHO WOULD WANT

YOU AS A SON?" He yelled back slapping me round the face.His voice poisonous and his face showing hatred and disgust.

My back was burning, my eyes were sore from crying, my face hurt from the punches and my ankle was twisted.

"Frankie I heard yelling is everythi- OH MYY GOD STOP FRANK STOP HURTING MY BABY!" My mother stood there in shock at my father, tears of betrayal and anger running down her beautiful but tired face.

"BACK OFF BITCH!" My father yelled in response. Standing up and walking over to her, pushing my mother out of the door.

He turned to face me but he stopped when a scream and loud thudding sounded. My mother.

"LINDA!" My dad screamed running down the stairs, leaving me in a puddle of my own blood, crying weakly.

I got up off the floor and made my way downstairs, struggling with each step.

My breathing turned laboured but I pushed through.

What I found downstairs was something that would never leave my memory.

My father was hugging my mothers dead body at the bottom of the stairs, crying and stroking her hair.

"Momma?" I whimpered as more tears ran down my face.

My father looked up and for a moment I saw a very broken man through his eyes but that all changed to anger.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT, SHE IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU AND IM GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY!" screamed my father standing up, away from my mothers bleeding corpse and slowly walking towards me.

"DADDY NO!" I screamed.

I awoke with a jolt. I was sweating slightly with tears running down my face. I was still in the Way's living room and Mikey was asleep on the floor next to me.

I slowly stood up on shaky legs, a nauseated feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I ran to the bathroom and threw up... for the second time in their house.

After I was done I just sat there in the dark, on the bathroom floor rocking myself in the corner, crying.

I haven't had that nightmare in a while and it always leaves me feeling sick to my stomach.

That was the day I lost my bestfriend, my protector and mother.

"It's all my fault... it's all my fault" I whispered to myself over and over again.

"Frankie?" I was cut off by Gerard's angelic yet concerned voice. Yeah so I have a crush on my teacher/ friend's older brother. Sue me. I'm sure he will never like me back so it's fine. Kinda.

I looked up through my tears to see Gerard's concerned face peering through the door and looking at me.

"Y-yeah?" I croaked out, wiping my eyes with my sleeves.

"Frankie, come here" He cooed softly. He came in and knelt down besides me.

He wrapped his arms around my small frame.

We sat there for what felt like hours whilst I cried on Gerard's shoulder. Sitting on his lap with him stroking my hair, whispering soft words into my ear.

After I was done, we sat in silence. Me still wrapped in Gerard's arms. I felt the most safe I have in a while.

"What happened Frankie?" He asked gently, breaking the silence. I sniffled and buried my head further into his neck.

"Just a nightmare" I mumbled, face still buried in his neck. His arms tightened around me.

"Do you wanna talk about it? It might make you feel better." He whispered back, still stroking my hair.

I sighed. "I-It was the d-day m-my momma d-died" I stuttered as a new set of tears threatened to fall. I snuggled deeper into his chest crying softly again.

"It's okay Frankie. It's okay, you dont have to talk about it, sorry f-"

"Frank? Gee? What- Oh my fucking shitting god what happened Frankie!?!" Mikey ran over to us looking like he wanted to cry. For Mikey fucking Way that was weird as he usually had a poker face.

"I woke up alone in the lounge and couldn't find you. Then I went to find Gee and you weren't in your room, I started to panic" Mikey gushed out hugging me tightly.

"Mikey it's fine. Frankie just had a nightmare about something upsetting. I woke up and found Frankie." Gerard spoke softly and calmly. Mikey nodded helping me off Gerard's lap and on my feet, then helping his brother up.

~Le time lapse~

We were all sitting downstairs with this mornings events forgotten. We had just eaten lunch when I realised if I didn't go home I would get an even worse beating.

"Mikey I need to leave. I'm gunna have to luv ya and leave ya" I said to Mikey making both Way brother's laugh.

"Okay, do you want a ride home or-" He started but I cut him off in panic.

"No! U-um no It's fine thank you. I wanna walk 'cause It's sunny out, ya know?" I shrugged. Mikey and Gee nodded although both looking confused slightly at my outburst.

~

I stepped through my front door to find my dad alseep on the sofa.

I released a sigh of relief. I walked quietly to the stairs but stepped on an empty can of beer. Shit!

My father woke with a start. He looked around before his eyes laded on me. His eyes narrowed in anger and he grabbed a glass beer bottle from beside him, throwing it at my head.

The bottle hit my head before I could react in any way, the glass smashing upon impact. I screamed as pain burst through my head.

I felt the blood running down my face and everything went blurred. My fathers manic laughter fading as black spots appeared in my vision. Finally with on last groan I collapsed onto the floor, letting the darkness take me.

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