"I don't like the title of this song, sounds like Evan here is making a move on my girl."
Um, he is, just watch and cringe Alana. Watch and cringe.
"Well okay then. I-i'm a lying, cheating, s-son of a bitch, sorry m-mom you're not a bitch, who has no real friends, lovely."
"Ev, I'd say it's okay, but it isn't. You're an ass."
"I know, way to rub it in."
Stop fighting you depressed gays and listen to the song. Don't make me get the Dream Girls to make you "Listen." If you get that, you're my new best friend.
"I get that reference and I respect you anonymous voice." Zoe yelled in no real general direction.
Cue the music.
He thought you were awesomeHe thought I was awesome? My brother?Definitely!
"Yeah, I'm pretty lit!"
"Zoe, no, stop."
"I'm nonstop.'
This is not Hamilton! So it is not the time for Hamilton.
"It is always time for Hamilton." Zoe responded.
How?
Well, he said
There's nothing like your smile
Sort of subtle and perfect and real
"Evan Hansen explains flirting: First take on the embodiment of the girls dead brother, and tell her how pretty she is." Jared jokes.
"I GET IT, I'M A JACKASS!"
He said
You never knew how wonderful
That smile could make someone feel
And he knew
Whenever you get bored
You scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans
"Are you like a stalker, how do you know all this?"
"Honestly, I don't even know?"
And he noticed
That you still fill out the quizzes
That they put in those teen magazines
"Have you been looking through my room? "
"No, I SWEAR"
But he kept it all inside his head
What he saw he left unsaid
"Probably for the best, cuz you sound hella creepy Evan." Jared remarked.
"I'm too uncomfortable to even comment." Connor responded.
"Okay, I feel really hated so I-I'm just going to have a panic attack, um, in the restroom, while you all finish the song." Evan says while getting up. His mother tries to follow.
And though he wanted to
He couldn't talk to you
He couldn't find the way
But he would always say
If I could tell her
Tell her everything I see
If I could tell her
How she's everything to me
"In this Evan doesn't even know me, and yet i'm his everything. On a side note, how am I this oblivious?"
"Oh Zoe, that's one thing that's not made up. You are very oblivious."
"Wait, what?!"
"Shhhhh."
But we're a million worlds apart
And I don't know how I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could tell her
Did he say anything else?
About you?
Never mind, I don't really care anyways
No, no, no just, no, no he said, he said so many things
I'm just, I'm trying to remember the best ones so, um
"Very good. So lovely." Zoe says slow clapping.
He thought
You looked really pretty, er
"Quick save Ev, I'm impressed."
"Who are you talking to, Ev went cry, and Heidi followed to console him."
It looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair
He did?
And he wondered how you learned to dance
Like all the rest of the world isn't thereLike all the rest of the world isn't there
But he kept it all inside his head
What he saw he left unsaid
"You gotta admit, the song is catchy though." Jared said.
"I mean he's not wrong." Alana agreed.
If I could tell her
Tell her everything I see
If I could tell her
How she's everything to me
But we're a million worlds apart
And I don't know how I would even start
If I could tell her
if I could tell her
If I could tell her
But what do you do when there's this great divide?
"Anxiety was just given an entirely new definition." Zoe said.
He just seemed so far away
And what do you do when the distance is too wide?
It's like I don't know anything
"This Zoe doesn't know anything!"
And how do you say
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
But we're a million worlds apart
And I don't know how I would even start
If I could tell her
If I could
And that's the end. Oh also Evan kisses Zoe. Zoe doesn't kiss back of course, but yeah.
"Wait what?!" Zoe yells.
"Hansen's getting handsy with my sister?"
-Evan reenters room with Heidi-
"What'd I miss?"
"You fucking kissed Zoe!" Jared screamed amusedly.
-Evan turns back around and exits the room again-
Okay, that happened.
