Henry the Hermits Survival School

Rule #5 Don't mess with a birds nest

Welcome back! I can't believe that you're actually still reading this, I'm really surprised. Today we are going to learn why we shouldn't mess with a birds nest.

Back about ten years ago I was taking a hike, I was going to the top of one of the jagged mountains that surround my cabin on both sides. It was a bright spring morning, the sky was blue, the sun was warm, and the whitetail deer were grazing out in the open green meadows that had fresh grass.

On my way to the mountain the deer looked at me curiously but then went back to eating. I adjusted my tan elk stomach bag and pulled my black felt cowboy hat down and I had my eyes set on the prize.

It was a day to make it to the top, and a day to hike back down it. Once I would get to the top I would set up camp and sleep up there, I would feel like the king of the world.

It was the afternoon and sweat was trickling down my forehead, but the breeze instantly cooled me down. I took my hat off and wiped the sweat from my brow. I took a deep breath and looked down the descending hill, I'm a little more than halfway up and the view was breathtaking.

With one final glance I continued my long journey up the mountain. Along the way I found a hiking stick and used it for the rest of the way, I rested here and there but kept on going strong.

When I made it to the top I threw my arms up and let out a yell, scaring some birds nearby making them fly into the sunset. I dropped my bag and began to set up my tent that I had made from elk skin, once I was done with that I made a fire.

The top was beautiful, trees were along the entire mountain except near the edge where I was camped. I walked a mile out of the trees before I reached the edge.

While I was sitting by the cackling, bright, warm fire lost in my own thoughts, I heard a goose nearby. The geese were laying, and I licked my lips at the thought of fried goose eggs for breakfast.

I decided I would find the nest in the morning and grab two or three eggs. I added four more dry cedar logs to the fire and pulled the door flap to the side and laid on my bear skin blanket, with my feet about a foot away from the fire.

I put my arms behind my head, set my hat to the right side of me and closed my eyes while listening to the sound of crickets and the fire.

My guess was that it was around seven o'clock in the morning, which is way later than when I usually wake up. I sat up and stretched my arms with a big ol yawn. I put my hat on and exit my tent to see a smoldering fire. I stand up, stretch some more and added some dry leaves and more logs to the fire.

The fire ignites and I grab my bag, swinging it over my shoulder I head out to find breakfast. It wasn't long until I found the nest unguarded, it was the edge of the cliff hidden behind several boulders. I peeked over the side of the boulder and saw two white eggs.

My eyes lit up with excitement, I looked around like a toddler would do to make sure they didn't get caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

I tiptoe towards the nest and out of no where a goose honked and did an aerial attack on me. I let out a scream of terror, a manly scream may I add. I ran out of there and hid behind another boulder.

It looked like the goose stuck her tongue out at me and waddled off to her nest. I lower my head in disappointment and head back to camp which was about ten minutes away. I throw my bag on the ground near the fire and went to take my tent down.

I rolled my elk skin canvas up and placed it on the top of my pack. when I turned around I was shocked. There was a perfect white goose egg laying on my blanket. I looked around again and saw the chipmunk sitting on a rock.

Was this perhaps a way of him apologizing to me? I blinked in disbelief and smiled like an idiot towards the chipmunk. I gently pick up the egg with both hands and shined the surface of it with my semi-clean thumb.

That's when I heard a terrifying noise, not a growl, no it was the honking of one angry mother goose. I turn my head in the direction of the noise almost giving myself whiplash. There she was, running towards me at full speed with her wings extended.

I drop the egg on the blanket, careful not to break it and I run for my life. Picture this, a grown man running, his red beard flapping in the wind on the right side of his cheeck. Now imagine this man screaming in terror as a mama goose chases him down.

Lets just say this wasn't one of my proudest moments. The goose chased me up a tree and was circling the bottom making sure that I had learned my lesson. I look towards my camp and see the stupid critter rolling the egg back to its nest.

I was stuck in that tree for twenty minutes even though the mama left after ten minutes. I was scared to go down, my nails were practically embedded into the tree.

So this is why we don't mess with a birds nest unless it is absolutely necessary.