Henry the Hermits Survival School

Rule #4 Stay away from baby animals

Com estas! Welcome back and today we will discuss rule #4, stay away from baby animals. This is important because if a mama finds you even near her baby, she will tear you to shreds.

I've had experience, bad experience that is. You're probably wondering what happened, I'll tell you but it wont be a pretty story.

Around 4-5 years ago I was taking a nice refreshing walk alongside the swift river. It was spring because all the snow was melting off of the mountain making the river rise and turning it a nasty brown.

The river was loud and going fast. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard a terrified chirp. I didn't know what was making the sound until I saw a cougar cub on a fallen tree that was across the river.

The cub had his claws sunken into the rough bark of the tree, I knew I had to act fast if I wanted to save his life.

I took my hat off setting it on the ground, along with my jacket. I started to slither along the tree on my stomach. My legs were wrapped around the tree and my hands pulled my weight closer and closer to the scared cub.

When I was close enough the cub hissed at me, and was shaking all over. I grabbed the scruff of his neck and shoved him in my bag. The bag hung over the side of the log about a foot above the water.

Carefully, I turned around and made sure not to thrash around or put all my weight into one spot. The cub was crying since the bag was shut and it couldn't see anything, we made it safely across and when I got to solid ground I went to put my leather jacket on, and my black felt cowboy hat that has a rattlesnake skin hatband.

I went to the thrashing bag and opened it. The cub popped its head out and tried to swat at me, it looked around seeing that he was no longer in danger he started to purr.

I smiled at the cub who was still sitting in my bag, its head upwards eyes closed, and it almost looked as if he was smiling. The sun came out and was glistening off of his tan, slightly wet coat, he purred even louder and started to claw my bag in pure joy.

I chuckled and picked the cub up and set him back down on the fresh green grass. I put my bag over my head and shoulder and patted the cub on the head, "Stay away from the river until you're a bit bigger, okay?" I told him smiling to myself.

I turned around and started to head back home, until I heard a chirp, but it wasn't the cubs. I looked around and finally saw Satan's soldier on the ground about 2 feet away from the cub. He had an evil look in his eyes as he started getting closer to him.

I tilted my head to the side wondering what the sicko was going to do. He got right up next to the cub and looked at me then at the cub over and over again. I saw the wheels turning and was puzzled.

The demonic varmint then went down and bit the cubs tail with all his might. The cub let out an ear piercing shriek out, his mouth opened as wide as possible and kept on yowling. My eyes got wide and realized the chipmunk did this to make the cub call for it moms help.

I turned around and was ready to run, but there was a slight problem. The mama cougar was right in front of me looking at her cub. The cub saw his mama and immediately shut up, he went over to her and rubbed against her leg.

After the mama licked his head to ensure him everything was alright, she looked at me and started growling, her head down low with her shoulders hunched. I took deep breaths and tried to remember how to get away from a cougar.

Play dead? No, that's a grizzly bear.

Go into the water? That's for a swarm of bees.

A-ha! I have to act bigger and yell! I took my jacket off and waved it around, same with my hat, I made weird noises and screamed. The cub was scared and the mom wasn't going to back down, but seeing her cub scared out of his wits, made her grab the cub and with one last growl she ran off.

So, this is why you don't mess with baby animals, or animals in general. Stay safe, don't get mauled, and stay alive. Until next time, Henry the Hermit signing off!