𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑

스물 둘

❝would you believe me if i said that i was scared of everything too?❞

"we need to talk about taehyung." i stated, his eyebrows knit together. "why? what about him?" he asked. i sigh, i sit down onto the couch next to him. i pulled out my phone and skipped to the time where he talked about wanting to destroy my relationship with seokjin. of course, i would never let that happen, now would i?

"here, just... listen to this," i say, my voice barely above a whisper. he seems concerned as he takes my phone out of my hand and puts it up to his ear. i could faintly hear the conversation between taehyung and that seungha lady. "jin, i have ... important ..., i know who ... ki... the one who ...-led your father ....... sister, se...ha. it ... jungkook."

it's been a few minutes and I'm sure the recording had ended. it was silent, too silent for my liking. i looked at seokjin and he had put the phone down on the couch, sitting there as if processing what he's just learned. "a-are you sure that it's taehyung?" he asks, finally looking up at me with red eyes. he was crying. i stared at him with a blank expression and nodded. i was this close to making seokjin hate taehyung. "I'm sorry i... i need a minute," he says and gets up from the couch and leaves the living room. but i somehow don't feel satisfied.

was this the right thing to do?

ruining seokjin's relationship with his family?

my whole life i finally get my hands on something great, something euphoric. yet I always manage to ruin it. with eunbi, with my mother, with gangyoon, nothing ever went right. was this life playing tricks on me? was i only living to have sex, drink till i stumble home, make music for fans, then die? i laugh softly as something wet drips onto my hands. i was crying. for the first time in 15 years, I'm crying. i know i didn't do anything wrong to jin but seeing him that... that off, put ME off.

maybe I'm overexaggerating, but a part of me can't help but say that... that was the wrong thing to do. maybe I wasn't too far gone, eunbi was wrong. i wasn't a psychopath, i wasn't sick. just because i haven't taken my medicine doesn't mean I'm still sick, does it? i could easily go into seokjin's room and check up on him.

i sigh and stand up, wiping the tears off my cheeks. i leave the living room and walk up to jin's door, knocking on it softly before turning the doorknob, slowly pushing the door open. he was hugging the bunny plush i gave him. i walked towards his bed and sat on the end beside his feet. "how are you feeling?" i asked softly. i wasn't about to give up but, that doesn't mean i might feel guilty. then again, I'm doing this for seokjin and i. so we can live happily in peace without any obstacles.

"I'm... I'm fine..." he whispers, his eyes were red and puffy, cheeks were glossed with tears. i stand up and move to the left side of the bed and get in under the covers, shifting closer to him and wrapping my arms around his tiny waist, pulling him in closer to me. he does nothing but lay still.

i leave butterfly kisses on his nape, hoping i could comfort him as i caress the side of his waist.

in the end, we both fell asleep.

-

i flutter my eyes open and take a second to fully wake up. beside me is nothing, i sit up and look around but my boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. he must've left for work, but it would have been nice if he could have told me.
but that recording punched me in my face, how could taehyung do that? I sigh as I get up from the bed and into my bathroom. I brush my teeth, use the toilet, you know... the basics.