𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑

스물 여섯

❝life's heaviest burden is to have nothing to carry.❞

I look up at the ceiling, my mind blank. seokjin had left the place again, out to go 'work' but I highly doubt so. jimin and he would always party, whether it be at noon or midnight, he would be out.

it bugged me. bugged me more than I wanted it to; I had better things to do than sit and wait for a drunk ol' seokjin waddle in then pathetically trying to come up sth an excuse that always ends up with us in bed.

seriously, I had to learn how to stop falling for seokjin.

I sigh as I sit up straight, eyes falling onto the tv screen in front of me. maybe it was time for me to talk to seokjin-- he wasn't like this.

it wasn't long till I was going to go stupid.

the door unlocks, and I stand up almost immediately, feeling my knee almost pop from it.

"seokjin?" I call out, walking towards the front door and see seokjin leaning against the door, bruises on his neck. "seokjin are you- oh. oh..."

sometimes I wonder if this was even real.

was he even real?

seokjin was in front of me but was it, my boyfriend? no. it wasn't the love of my life; it was some clubber.

my vision blurs, and something wet touched my jaw, down to my chin. and then I realized; I was crying. maybe reality was crashing down onto me; perhaps I realized that seokjin was nothing but a mere excuse for me to use.

seokjin's eyes move and meet mine; he lets out a low chuckle.

"gguk, you're crying," he mentions, he stops leaning on the wall and steps closer to me. since when had I become smaller? I don't know.

"yeah, thank you for noticing, captain obvious." I deadpanned. it has been a month, and a week, I don't know what happened, but something happened, and now he isn't... isn't mine.

I glance at his neck, entirely covered in blotches of pink and purple.

it irked me, and seokjin knew that. why? why would he do that to me?

"whatever, i'm going to sleep now gguk. sleep early, will you?" seokjin sighs, walking past me and bumping into my shoulder and disappears in the dark.

I didn't do anything. I stood there idly; he's been doing this for a week. I wanted to punch him, but I couldn't bring myself to, so I guess there was still something. I wipe my tears, and I contemplate whether to barge into seokjin's room and complain about this, about him.

but I chose not to; another day would be better, right? well, I hoped so.

I walk back to the living room, sitting down onto the couch, slouching. I let my thoughts swirl around in my head for a while, allowing them to create hell and destroy every ounce of my common sense.

I breathed in and breathed out after five seconds. I needed to calm down. then I thought, what calmed me down?

talking to namjoon? no, he would go full on therapist on me. jimin? no, he's more of a go out and party person-- plus, he basically drugged my boyfriend and turned him into a damn sex machine. hoseok? hardly knew him so no.