I Think I Love You

chapter 21

Alex was having fun with Rachael. She wasn't falling in love, but she enjoyed the extra company that gave her comfort. Both of them laid in the couch, laughing at stories from the their childhood.
"Yeah no, Emily was the best. She... She was something else, Like we had our fun back in highschool. We made lots of jokes and stuff, we were the closest of friends."
Rachael sensed the pain in her voice as she laid on her chest. She looked up at Alex and kissed her and smiled. Alex kept her eyes closed as she kissed her, but once they stopped kissing, she kept her eyes close, and whispered.
"Kiss me again."
Rachael kissed her again and Alex only thought of Emily. She wished Emily could see how much she loved her. Once more she forgot about Rachael and imagined Emily was kissing her. Alex sat up with Rachael on her laps and slid her hand to the back of her neck, with her right hand on the right side of her waist. Rachael tasted a sense of bliss but also a hint of how much she missed Emily. Alex pulled away, the both of them breathing heavily.
"To the bed?"
Rachael nodded and Alex carried her to her bedroom. She laid her her down and kissed down her neck. She took Rachael's shirt off and kissed her collarbone and unstrapped her bra.
"Alex."
Rachael whispered as she felt the softness of Alex kiss going down her body. Her kiss leaving a wet trail down her body.
"Emily."
The words came out of Alex's mouth and she realized her mistake. Rachael slid off from being under Alex and she sat up. In front of her.
"Alex? Are you ok?"
Alex kept her position and teared up.
"I'm sorry. I just..."
Rachael put Alex's head up and kissed her.
"Miss her?"
"Yes."
Rachael pulled her body closer to her chest and Alex rested her head in Rachael's chest. She began to cry.
"Tell me. What happened between you guys?"
Alex's voice was a quiet whisper when she spoke to her.
"We were friends who casually had sex. But... I fell in love with her and, she found out and told me to leave her alone. Now I don't know how she feels about me. Whether she loves me or not. I feel like I'll never find out."
Rachael stroked her hair and sighed, but compassionately.
"Its gonna be ok. Has she been hurt before?"
"Yes. By other guys."
"Well. Give her time Alex. She might love you, but she feels like she can't with her past. Prove to her you're different. Prove to her she can love you."
Alex nodded lightly and kept sobbing on Rachael's chest as she softly stroked her hair. I miss you Emily. Please you know I'm different. I'm sorry if I did anything to hurt you, because I'm not that kind of person. I've loved you since college. Only love. And I still do love you.