Do You See Me Now? ✔

Chapter 12 - The Kick

Friday, October 19th

     By the time Jesse made it back to the apartment, his eyes were red because he had been crying, his throat had ran dry, and a headache had presented itself. He hated crying, but he couldn't stop himself after what he learned today.

His face was probably a mess.

No, scratch that, he looked like a mess overall, not just his face.

As soon as he entered the apartment, Mees and Loek shortly looked up to greet him. But they both remained completely silent when they saw him. Mees had closed his laptop within seconds, and Loek had rushed in his direction.

"What happened?" he asked while he guided Jesse towards the couch. Mees placed his laptop on the table, and sat up, prepared to listen.

Jesse opened his mouth, but the only sound that left his throat was a sob, and new tears started to roll down his cheeks. He had pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his hand, using them to hide his face, and the tears that kept on coming.

"Jesse?" Loek carefully asked, but he didn't continue. He just sat next to Jesse, awkwardly rubbing his back. "Calm down, it's okay. We're here for you."

Jesse shook his head once, telling him he was still unable to talk, sobbing like a baby. He didn't want Loek to see him like this. He didn't want anyone to see him this weak. For years, he had acted tough, as if nothing bothered him. But that day, it had been too much.

Something inside him had snapped, and anger and sadness were the only emotions that he felt. No, it were the only emotions that completely controlled him, and he wanted to cry and scream in the same time. He wanted to punch something—preferably Felipe or Olaf.

But they weren't here; he couldn't hurt them. He couldn't hurt them the way they had hurt him.

"Here, drink some water." Mees' voice sounded calm, and Jesse peeked over his sleeves to find Mees standing in front of him with a glass of water. He took the glass from his hold and gulped down the contents.

"What happened?" Loek repeated his initial question.

"They... they... they didn't want me..." Jesse sobbed. He was shaking, he was in pain. Not physically, but mentally. And it all came out right in front of Mees and Loek.

Both seemed at a loss for what to do, so they waited until Jesse was able to explain what he meant.

He didn't know how long it took to calm down enough to tell them more, but eventually, after another glass of water and a whole lot of ugly-crying, he managed to calm down enough.

He wiped the tears from his cheek, and kept his gaze onto the floor. "My father didn't want me. And Felipe didn't want me. And mom didn't care how he treated me. She could've done something."

"You need to elaborate if you want us to understand, Jesse." Loek was still rubbing his back with a hand and used the other to wipe away a lost tear. "Why are you suddenly this upset? Help me understand."

"I spoke to mom today," Jesse whispered with a croaky voice. "She told me Felipe isn't my real father, and that some guy named Olaf is. And he didn't want me, so he left. Felipe didn't want me either because I'm not his son. Mom still let him treat me poorly even if she says she loves me, and I just can't take it anymore. Nobody wants me in their lives. I'm not good enough. Mom says I shouldn't come home. What kind of mother tells her son not to come home? She doesn't know where I'm staying, if I'm safe, if I'm okay." Jesse ranted, and Loek and Mees let him, both waiting patiently until he was finished.