Do You See Me Now? ✔

Chapter 16 - The Heartbroken

Monday, October 22nd

     Something about Calix changed, right after he confessed to all of his friends that he was no longer in a relationship with Francesca. Everyone was just as shocked as Jesse had felt, but besides him and Axel, nobody knew why exactly they'd broken up.

Even more so, Jesse had been the first to find out, and it made him feel special. Calix could've told Axel first, but he decided not to. He decided to text Jesse, and wait for him to show up, to tell him first.

Now, more than ever, Jesse felt hopeful. Hopeful that he might have a shot with Calix, even if he knew damn well that Calix was straight.

He shouldn't feel hopeful. He should be realistic, and let it sink in that even if Calix was single, he didn't stand a chance. He needed to move on.

He just didn't know how.

And Calix was making things ten times harder on him. He didn't leave his side more than a few seconds, and he kept asking Jesse to make jokes to distract him. Calix didn't disapprove when Jesse and Axel didn't pay attention during class. Instead, he joined them.

Calix wasn't worrying over Jesse any longer. No, the roles were reversed, and Jesse couldn't help but worry over his best friend. He seemed down, unconcentrated, careless. He didn't act the way Jesse was used to, and it was highly depressing.

Jesse struggled to play pretend himself, hiding the fact that he got kicked out by Felipe, or the fact that Felipe really wasn't his father. He was hiding his sexuality, his crush, the fact that he had slept with three guys in the past year without ever seeing them again. Jesse had plenty of secrets and depressing elements going on in his life, while Calix had always been an element of stability to him. Without him and his ever-so-collective behaviour, Jesse felt lost.

And with Jesse lost, and Calix trying to lean on him, it seemed as if they were both lost, while Axel was barely someone who kept himself calm and collective. Hot-headed Axel wasn't someone who could cheer Calix up by himself while he was still sulking over Donna, trying to find a way to get her back. The only thing Axel was useful for in that moment was distraction in the form of hangman and tic-tac-toe during boring classes.

And for some entertainment during lunch break.

He had once again decided to walk up to Donna and ask her why she didn't want to be with him. It was getting awkward, and Jesse could barely look at him while he oh-so-pathetically begged her to take him back in front of half the school.

"If I ever act like that, could you please hit me, or even kill me?" Calix asked while he turned away so that he wouldn't have to look at Axel any longer.

"Sure. Same goes for me, though," Jesse replied, chuckling afterwards. "Not that I've got something to worry about."

It wasn't even a lie. Even if Yoni and Jesse decided to break up, he wouldn't want her back. They knew it was a fake relationship and their friendship would continue either way.

"Lucky bastard," Calix grumbled, sighing deeply before he shoved his BLT sandwich in Jesse's direction. "Here, I'm not hungry anyway."

"Is this a moment in which I should kill you? Or at least slap you?"

"You could, but I bet you want that sandwich more than me being sane."

Jesse nodded, fully agreeing with his statement. "Yes, yes indeed."

Calix offered a small smile, but soon looked sad and depressed again. He leaned an elbow on the table, supporting his head, while he watched Jesse eat his sandwich.