It's still painful
Every time I think of your crazy ass
Two nut chucks from a cheat
One number away from a freak
I miss yo ass but I'm glad u gone
I still love you
Nobody can make me stop
But it's still painful
You called me one too many names
You played one too many games
Way too many to set the odds of shame
And not enough to make me ever not trust you again
I don't even trust you as a friend
Because my friends keep it real with me
But how do you keep it that way without being real with yourself
If you confused say you confused
But you loved to dress up as Jason on your birthday on Halloween holding my crystal lake in a crystal ball
Just swinging it back and forth promising you won't let it fall
With tears still flowing from my eyes I still stand tall
We went through it all
But instead of playing dead I'm slowly learning not to cover up the pain
I have to deal with it day to day starting today
But every time I think of you
The pain still lingers
Still turns my stomach in knots at night
Millions of wonders why does he get to move on so easy with his life
Too Bad
Still think about what we had
Which was nothing
Nothing worth letting anxiety kill me over
It wasn't worth the throw up and I know the lies took a lot of energy
Cause you never really broke up but then really didn't wanna be with me
Just like I don't understand how people disappear
U did that emotionally
When a bitch walked outside you forgot about me conveniently
Even though I'm just as fly
The apple of your eye was just a twinkle in disguise
The calls in your send box was just a bunch of hi and byes
The end of the rope was pulled before my spirit died
When it was time to pray to the gods and goddesses of Facebook and Instagram you got off the phone with me
Then forgot about me totally
I just wanted you to love me
And treat me the way you wanted to be treated
I should've dogged you cause you were treating me like I cheated
Why do I know I got the power and the strength to keep moving forward but I feel so defeated
People say move on and I really have
I just have them down nights when I'm really mad
Just shows you how overmedicated
Weed and liquor all throughout the week haunts you the day you don't get faded
Makes you imagine shit that never existed
Makes you miss what you made up in your head with such a swift persistence
Help me relieve the tension...someone talk to me
Before my stomach knots up again
Before you lie calling me your friend
Before I self destruct being a victim
All I want you to do is read this and listen to me
You hurt me to the tee
Now be good to me
Please.
