This Is Love

29

Tyrrell POV

Even though my mama handled Wallace last not and almost blew his brains all over the dining room last night, I was still fuming about it this morning. Like I knew something was going on with him and Jamie but I could not figure out what. All morning Jamie has been shut up in his room, I guess he was mad at me or whatever. I know he would eventually get over whatever was keeping him from talking to me. I know we fought and fuss a lot but at the end of the day, I will kill anybody for him. I put that on everything I love. Trying to get myself together, I got up and walked to the bathroom. Washing my face in the sink and I pop a capful of mouth wash in my mouth swirled it around and spit it mouth.

Rinsing my mouth out I walked back into my room and got dress, Checking my phone just to see that maybe Lamar had called me. I was really acting despaired as hell. 

"Chill out nigga, He will call you."

I said to myself grabbing my shirt and throwing it on. After grabbing my keys and wallet I walked out of the room. I walked to my mama room just to check on her. As soon as I knocked on the door he door opened up and she was dress to go to work.

"Mama..."

"Boy what?"

"Umm...I was...you going to work?"

"Yea, who else gonna put food on the table and tissue for yall to whip yall asses."

She said pushing past me. Maybe it was me or I was in a twilight zone but I was really confused. She was acting like as if she was not playing pop a nigga last night.

"Mama... you ok?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm just asking because like....you know last night___."

"Tyrrell, uh uh we not gonna talk about last night. That was too much for everyone I'm just glad it's over and my baby is safe."

"Well have you talked to him, I mean Jamie_____."

"Jamie went over to your auntie house this morning. He said he wanted to go see Jamon and he was going to hang at your aunts."

She said as she walked down the stairs.

"Well somebody could have told me something. I have been worried about him all morning."

"Boy, you are ok....now if you are done playing where's Jamie can I go to work now."

"Mama, you sure you need to go to work with at that what happened to you."

"Oh I'm fine baby, my mind is clear. I'm not thinking anymore about it because at the end of the day Jamie is safe. That monster is gone and he is safe. I did what any parent would do. I solved the problem the best way I knew how and now that it is solved. Time to move on to the next problem."

"What problem?"

"How I'm going to shut you up so I can go to work."

She said to me. We both busted into laughter as I hug her saying goodbye so she could go. As long as Jamie and My mom weren't tripping I guess there was nothing else to do but move on. Walking into the Kitchen I grab a Coke out the fridge and headed out the door. 

Most of the day I hunged out over with my auntie and fam. Mostly checking in on Jamie but he was too busy being all into his lil boyfriend. After a while, I headed over to the court to shot some hoops with a couple of friends. We bagged on each other for a while until it was time to finally met up with Lamar. Runningback by the house I took a quick wash up and throw on me something casual and headed to the spot I text him. I had to catch Uber and my uber ran late when I finally got thee Lamar was walking out the door.

"Lamar!!! Hold up wait."

"Wow, now you finally showed up fifteen minutes later. I'm gone, Tyrrell."

"Damn Lamar for real. Like I'm here....My uber was late but I'm here."

"I told you not to fuck it up you really think I was playing ____."

"Lamar please, bruh damn I got too much other shit going on to have to fight with you on being fifteen minutes late. Damn nigga, I'm here, now can we just go inside and talk please."

Lamar stood there with an annoyed look. I know he was upset but I was even more frustrated because he not even trying to give a nigga a chance for real. Without saying a word he turned and walked back into the restaurant. Grabbing us a table towards the back I sat and order our food. Finally, having him alone I was lil a kid who didn't know what to sat to his crush. Lamar was just sitting there staring me down as if he was looking into my soul.

"So, How have you____."

"Uh uh....you said you wanted to talk to me, what is it.?"

Lamar said cutting me off. He was not giving me any room to breathe at all.

"Well, since you want to be straight up I want you back."

"No, bye."

He said getting up. 

"Lamar damn for real....like for real bruh."

"What, Tyrrell you know I'm in a whole new relationship and I'm happy. I let go of all that shit that happened I'm not even mad at you I just want to simply enjoy my life. So what... Why are you trying to break that up for me."

"Im not trying to do nothing....I just want us back. Lamar, I know that stuff still hurting you what happen with me and Jabari, But baby I was drugged that shit wasn't me. Jabari told me after you left. HE only did it cause of Lilly cause she was trying to get at you. Baby, I would never cheat on you I love you. Even after all this, I can't even be with nobody else because I love you. You the only one I want to be with."

I spoked grabbing his hand. Lamar had sat back down looking at me. I could see the tears forming in his eyes, yet they didn't fall.

"Lamar I been going crazy none stop thinking about you for real. I want my baby back. Andre doesn't deserve you."

"Well, how you can say that what makes you think you deserve me?"

"Because we were together too long without ever fighting or having petty arguments and yea that was just in high school but think of what we were planning to do together. Everything you are doing with Andre is what we said we were gonna do."

I explain to him. Lamar paused pulling his hand back from me. We both sat in silence, on que the waiter had brought us our food and refilled our drinks. I sat there and watched Lamar play with his spaghetti in deep thought.

"Lamar all I am simply___."

"I didn't know.... All this time I believed I was over you. I knew I was over you and yet you are right. Everything we said we would do I'm doing it with another man. Wow, how the world can be so cruel."

"It's not cruel Lamar you still love me and you know it. And I don't care what I got to do I will prove that you do."

I said hitting the table a bit. I was passionate about having Lamar back and I could see in his demeanor his feelings all of a sudden changed.

"Lamar, please....baby let me show you that I'm still that dude you fell in love with."

I said staring him down. Lamar bit his bottom lip and looked out the window. The more h sat there the more my anxiety build.

"Lamar____."

"I dont....want to be hurt and I don't want to feel like a fool. Andre doesn't make me feel like that. How will I know you this the guy I loved."

"You have to lamar....you know I am. Just let me show you."