Five Month Lie | t. holland

June | III

The minute you stepped out of the forest you knew you were a goner. One scan of the park with your eyes revealed a figure pacing back and forth across the garden, now damp with humidity, and you knew it had to be Tom.

You had initially decided to find your way home without contacting him, but as you started your hike up to the road, you spotted a water fountain and your mouth went dry. The memory of what water felt like against your skin made it impossible to think clearly for a moment or two.

By the time you realized you were staring at the fountain, the figure was on its way.

You debated trying to outrun him- it had worked before- but Tom was probably full of adrenaline; and you... not so much.

Should you risk it anyway?

You thought back to the water fountain. The idea was too tempting.

You gave in, admitting to the reality that you would have to speak with Tom eventually, and began to walk towards the water fountain.

As you bent over to take a drink you spotted the dark figure coming closer, and for a split second you feared it wasn't Tom after all. But then he called out and you relaxed- if only slightly.

"___!" He called in his accent.

You shuddered. His voice was Peter's and yet, so different.

Tom caught up with you and the fountain in less than a minute. He was out of breath when he reached you.

"___," He heaved a breath. "You've been gone for hours, do you know what time it is?"

You continued to drink, if only to delay your conversation.

"___," Tom said, putting a tentative hand over yours.

At once you jerked it away and stood up. "Don't touch me." You said in a even voice. All tears had been exhausted. Now was the time for answers, not tender reunions. "But I have to hear you say it." You looked at him. "Is it true?"

"Yes." He stated.

You turned away.

Tom bit his lip and looked apologetic but then said "When did you find out?"

You crossed your arms and shifted your weight to one leg. "Kate put me on the trail when she showed me your Instagram. Then the tattoo solidified it."

Tom shook his head, and to your surprise, a ghost of a smile touched his face. "I told Kate you'd get it. You're smart. Admittedly I should have just owned up to it and told you right then. What was it, two weeks ago?"

You raised an eyebrow.

"The fire. Y'know the restaurant?" Tom shook his head. "You know, I was trying to tell you. If you can remember, I was acting pretty nervous."

You remembered. In the heat of the events that followed, you had neglected to follow up with the behavior.

"Well after that I lost my nerve. I thought I had lost you, for real. And I knew that if I told you I was living a double life I could lose you that way too, so I fell back. I wasn't strong enough to risk losing you." Tom looked down in humiliation. "And it only made it worse."

You shifted your weight to your other leg and listened to him as he started to talk again.

"I just thought that if I gave it time... And if I told you in a gentle way... That maybe you'd... stay..." He mumbled the last word as if the guilt of the situation was rendering him voiceless.

You just stared at him, arms crossed, not speaking.

He glanced up when an owl sounded in the trees, but then he looked back down at the grass. "___... I'm sorry." He looked up. "I don't know what else to say, I-"