Hakuouki One-Shots

Please help me: Saito x Suicidal!Reader

Requested by: preabevee

*I would like to stress that if this story triggers you in any way, please leave this story. It will contain Self Harm and suicidal thoughts. If you struggle with these things, my door is always open and you can talk to me. There is another option of asking for help from adults that you are around. IF this story makes you uncomfortable, please don't read it. It won't hurt me in the slightest. I will put a warning when the actual part is that contains these things. Again, if you don't like those things, DON'T FORCE YOURSELF TO READ THE STORY!*

WARNING: Contains cutting, suicidal thoughts/actions, depression

You sat alone in your room dwelling on what the world would be like without you. Tears stung the back of your eyes but before they could leave, a knock was heard. "Come in." you call quickly wiping your eyes dry. Saito, your husband, walked into the room and sat next to your before laying down on your folded legs. You gave a gentle smile before running your fingers through his hair. You could never understand why this man would ever fall in love with you let alone marry you. You where a nobody. You lived alone since you turned ten. Your parents died fighting against a rogue samurai.

Tears finally slipped past your facade and you began crying. Saito immediately sat up and turned to face you. "Y/n, what's wrong?" He asked. You shook your head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Saito narrowed his eyes in doubt but sighed quietly. He never was one to push you when you felt this way. Later that day, Saito told you that he was going to have to go on patrol with the other member's. You nodded your head and gave him a warm smile. "Please be safe!" You called out as you waved to him. He sent you a smile and pressed his hand to his lips before letting it go. "I love you!" He called out. You smiled. "I love you too!" You replied.

*Cutting scene right now. Don't want to read it, skip the story if you have too.*

Holding the knife against your skin, you held back the tears you cut through your skin. You felt the blade pierce your skin but after that, nothing. She watched the blood slip through the cut and felt the stinging sensation of pain after. "One for being worthless. Two for being a nobody. And three-" before she could even make another cut, Chizuru, her best friend and support, held her arm tightly and yanked the knife away. "Why? You are precious to Saito. If he found out, he would be heartbroken and worried about you." She said cleaning the knife off and grabbing the medicine kit. Chizuru returned and began applying medicine to the wounds.

"Y/n, you need to talk to him about this. He will help you. You know this." She said looking up at her friend with wide, and scared eyes. You signed softly and nodded your head. You didn't want to tell him and there was no way that you would. He already had too much stuff going on as is and you didn't want to dump this on him as well. You gave Chizuru a soft smile reassuring her that you were going to tell Saito, she sighed out in relief. After Chizuru had left the room, you stared down at your bandaged arms and sighed out. You gently press your hand to the bandages and watched as your arm jumped with each touch. Standing up, you change into different clothes and head out of the Shinsengumi compound. You grabbed the sword that Saito had given to you for your birthday and headed towards the back end of the massive compound.

Your heart was beating fast as you sat down and pressed your back against the fence. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She sat there and tried relaxing her racing heart. She didn't want to go anywhere if it meant bumping into Saito. Opening her eyes a few minutes later, she grabbed her sword and headed back to her room. As she entered the room, she placed the sword back next to the dresser and headed back to her bed.

Saito walked in a few moments later and sighed as his eyes laid on Y/n. To him, it looked like you had been there since he left that morning. You sighed and laid down and closed your eyes. You know what you were going to do once Saito was asleep. After who knows how long, Y/n woke up. She moved quietly over to her sword and headed towards the roof of the building. Saito, who was asleep next to her, felt her shift and wake up.

Warning: Suicidal actions start here. If you don't want to read, please skip this story!

He followed her outside and watched as she climbed up to the roof. His eyes widened as she drew the sword and turned it to where the blade was pointing to her chest. "No. No No No." Saito muttered as he scrambled up the side to the roof. Racing forward, he pulled his wife against his chest and grabbed the blade with his hand to stop her from hurting herself.

"Don't do this." Saito's broken voice brought her to understand what her actions could have done. You dropped the sword from her hand and pressed her hands to her face. "Saito, I'm so sorry!" You said. Satio felt tears running down his face as he dropped to his knees. You followed suit and knelt down in front of him. "Please...just don't do that again." He whispered. You nodded your head. Her eyes traveled down to his hand that had grabbed the sword's blade.

Saito looked up at his wife and closed his hand. "Don't worry about my hand. I need to be with you 100% of the time. I have neglected spending time with you and that will not do. You are my wife and I need to be a better husband. Tomorrow, I will spend the entire day with you. I love you. I love you so damn much." He whispered wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to his chest.

"Let's go back to bed. We both need it." Saito said as both headed back to their room. Laying down, Saito wrapped his arms around y/n's waist and held her close to his chest. He buried his head in her back and sighed happily. You couldn't help but smiling brightly. Your choices that you had made affected your life, but you were happy with how things had ended. She turned so she was facing Saito and pressed her nose against his chest. He smiled softly before falling asleep and curling closer to you. You felt your eyes slowly begin closing as you felt sleep take over. "Good night Saito." you whispered. "Good night Y/n." He replied.

A/N: Sorry that it's so short! I hope that you enjoy!