ryland's pov
i stared at him, my mouth slightly a gape at his words which i quickly covered with a cough. our eyes were locked together and i wanted to turn away, to ask him what on earth he meant. to ask him why he wanted to score just for me.
"that was amazing, both of you! well done!" my mom exclaimed as my brother finally reached us, snapping us out of our moment – or whatever it was we were currently experiencing – and making my eyes fall to the floor.
austin was beaming, shaking his head as though he couldn't believe what had just happened. that was by far the best either of them had played in years, and against one of the strongest school teams in the area.
"that was crazy." he replied, shocked, waving as his girlfriend crossed the bleachers to join us.
my dad joined us by the railings, morgan in tow. "how about we all go out for ice cream to celebrate? you too, shane?" he suggested, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder, clearly noticing that his parents hadn't showed.
before shane could answer, austin interjected. "sorry, dad, i was gonna go to kate's place if that's alright? her mom just invited me for dinner."
my dad raised his eyebrows in surprise and nodded, dismissing him as austin apologised once more and waved goodbye, running the last few steps to meet his girlfriend and kissing her lightly. i resisted the urge to roll my eyes, turning my attention back to shane and how well the school colours complimented his skin tone. the football jersey hugged his arms tightly and i couldn't help but marvel at his whole entire being.
"in that case, thank you anyway, mr adams. it was nice of you to offer." shane gave a small smile and took a few steps back from the railings.
my dad chuckled. "shane, that offer still stands for you. you're welcome to join us, we can give you a ride home after so you don't have to walk."
he smiled widely and nodded, thanking us all and excusing himself to go get changed out of his gear, running back across the field.
i sat back down in my seat, smile obnoxiously wide in a dorky manner, and exhaled slowly. the moment of the ball hitting the grass as the auburn boy skidded across the pitch replayed on loops through my head, and all i could think about was the way he had raised his helmet in the air and smiled. directly at me. his words were echoing in my ears and i rubbed my eyes confusedly, blinking slightly and following my parents out the field.
as we waited by the entrance for shane to return, my parents got distracted talking to the coach, my little sister at their feet still insistent on playing candy crush on her ipad. i leant against one of the pillars, phone in hand as i scrolled through twitter and liked several posts about the game. scuffing my trainers against the dirt floor, i found myself checking my outfit, worrying about my appearance. at the last minute i'd changed, switching from my shorts and thin sweatshirt to blue skinny jeans and one of austin's old band t shirts he had never really worn before. my slip on white vans had seen better days, but they were still in good condition and made the outfit look a bit more relaxed. i looked good, for once, and i wondered if that was what had caught shane's attention.
i shook the thought away, knowing i was assuming and over thinking, returning to my phone and clicking on instagram. before i could even refresh my feed, shane's voice made me jump out of my skin and i laughed a little.
"hey." he quietly greeted, offering a small smile, almost as though his words from earlier were completely forgotten. he was shy sometimes – rarely, not often, but enough for it to be noticeable. i returned his smile, sliding my phone in my back pocket and beginning to follow my parents, who had began walking out to the car.
shane quickly glanced at his toes, something he seemed to only do when he had no idea what to say. he was no longer wearing his kit, instead sporting a pair of the black jeans he normally wore, along with a maroon sweatshirt that was slightly to big for him that had bridgebrooke football team in gold lettering across the front, dawson and the number six on the back.
"you were seriously great tonight." i smiled, glancing up at the now darkening sky. it was nearing seven pm, and the sun was beginning to set as our feet slapped against the sidewalk.
"my mom didn't show up." he said quietly and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "again." the last word he added made it slightly more painful, slightly more jarring.
i sighed. "i'm sorry." i opined, not really sure what else to say.
a sad smile flickered onto his lips. "it's okay. it's not your fault, is it? you don't make her drink."
my eyes widened at this. never had shane mentioned anything personal about his family, ever. he kept himself to himself, often shifting the subject onto football or school or anything but that. i fumbled for words. "what do you–"
"i told her." he quietly commented, shaking his head. "just tonight. i asked her just for one night. she knew tonight was important to me. i just wanted one night where everything felt normal and i could be normal, ryland. you know?"
i nodded, gobsmacked and lost for words. "does she... does she drink a lot?" i quietly asked, pushing for more information as gently as i could. we were quite a while behind my parents and sister now – they were probably waiting for us at the car already – but it didn't matter.
he brushed my question aside, ignoring me once again. "and- and now she knows i'm bi, she- i thought it would make a difference. telling her. i thought coming out would make her care, make her check up on me more. but- she-" the words were spilling out of his mouth at such a steady rate that he could barely catch his breath, licking his lips as though all joy from his winning touchdown had been forgotten.
i stayed quiet, at a loss for words, not really knowing how to respond to all this information that was being thrown at me. so he was bisexual. the rumours were true. but how did i have no idea about his mom? how did austin have no idea about his mom?
shane sighed, his hair shining slightly blonde in the red-orange sky. "you can't tell anyone, alright?" his words rushed out slightly panicked. "fuck, i shouldn't of said anything. no one knows. not even austin. i- fuck- keep your mouth shut, okay?" his words were scrambled and all over the floor, a worried expression scorning the frown upon his lips as his voice raised.
"i will i- i won't say anything." i vowed, feeling guilt and concern swim in my chest, a little intimidated at his harsh words and tone of voice.
"sorry, sorry. fuck, i'm sorry, ryland. i just wanted everything to be normal tonight, just for once." his voice cracked and he rubbed his eyes, running his fingers through his hair once more and gulping.
"it's okay. don't worry." i whispered. we were still quite a while away from the parking lot, and my legs were aching from the walk and the relentlessly slow pace we were moving at.
shane's eyes danced across my face. "ryland... i know you're gay. i just wanted you to know that i know." he rambled quickly and bit his lip.
i froze, adrenaline seeping into my stomach as my heart dropped. "oh." i quietly whispered, tucking a hair behind my ear. "h- how?"
"figured it out last christmas."
i blushed, embarrassed and completely unsure about how to react to the fact that someone now knew my sexuality.
shane nodded and dragged a small smile onto his lips, clearly regaining some confidence and trying to reassure me. "i haven't told anyone. and i won't. we- let's just keep each other's secrets, yeah?" he suggested with a shaky grin and extended his pinky finger, making me smile sheepishly.
we interlocked little fingers, and from then on, without us knowing, we began what would tear each other's lives apart.
YOU ARE READING
room 207 | shyland ✓
Fanfiction[completed] of all the people in the world, ryland falls for shane, his older brother's best friend. - as a sophomore at his local high school, ryland is drowning in society. in stereotypes and expectations and his hidden sexuality. although these p...