never surrender I Mileven one shots

Ruin my life

I started crying when I had this idea cause I had a little bit of writers block so that's fun. But yeah enjoy (for some background they're all in college and in the same school)

Age: like 20

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I miss you pushing me close to the edge

Most of our fights end in kisses and and forgiveness, but not this time. It's day 5 without you and I miss you so much, El, so so much.

I miss you

Day 6 and I miss you even more than the previous 6 days. I miss you almost as much as those 353 days when I first lost you. Lucas says that if there's even a mention of me that Max will not talk to him for almost 30 minutes. Dustin has no clue what happened to us and neither does Will but he's catching on. Lucas also says he doesn't want to pick a side because it would basically be choosing either his girlfriend or his best friend. I kind of understand it. I'm sorry about everything. All of the stuff that I said isn't true. I'm also sorry for being all over the place in these letters. I haven't been able to think straight since you've been gone. I hope you're getting these letters. Even if you're not reading them I hope one day you will be. Then you'll know that I don't want us to be over.

I wish I knew what I had when I left

It's day 8 and I think Lucas is starting to take your side in this. He denies it but I can tell. Will is also starting to take you're side. He's ignoring me when we pass on campus and hasn't randomly stopped by in 2 days. You know how he would always randomly pop up at least once a day, sometimes more. Dustin is just starting to figure out that there's something going on. I really love Dustin but he isn't the best at picking up social ques. Anyways none of that is the worst part of this. The worst part is that you aren't here with me. Without you life is so dull and meaningless. I need my El back.

I miss you

I skipped classes today. I couldn't bear possibly seeing you or any of the party out and about. I saw you yesterday and you looked happy. It made me upset. How can you be so happy but I'm here suffering? How could you move on so easily? Has almost 8 years of knowing each other meant that little to you? I know it's selfish to think that 10 days isn't long enough to get over someone but I don't care. I just want you to come back to me. Run through the front doors of our apartment and hug me. I would apologize and we wouldn't give it a second thought. I never want to argue anymore. I really miss you, El.

You set fire to my world, couldn't handle the heat

Day 11. I've been looking back at old photos from when we were younger. Every photo I'm in with you I'm smiling. I remember my Mom used to complain how I never smiled in photos. I think it was more of photos that I was in by myself and not me. I don't know. I just know that I'm always happier with you. I took it for granted though. I forgot how empty life was without you and I let you slip through my fingers. I don't know how many times I have to tell you but I'm willing to say it every second for the rest of my life. I'm sorry.

Now I'm sleeping alone and I'm starting to freeze

Day 12. I spent most of my day today on the couch. I can't bear to go into our room. I can't lie in our bed without you. It's too big and cold. I miss you, El.

Baby, come bring me help

Day 13. Come home and help me fix my broken heart. I'll help you repair your's too but I can't unless you're here. Please honey come home. We both complain how small our apartment is without each other but it's too big without you.

Let it rain over me

Day 14. I talked to Nancy yesterday. She wants to come down and visit me. She says seeing people will help me move on. I don't want to move on I said, she told me I should at least try. She convinced me to go to class. I haven't been since last Friday. It's been a week. I was fully planning on going to math and getting notes from my Freshman roommate. I don't have math with anyone in the party so I wouldn't have to worry about that. Then I saw it was raining. All rain does is remind me of when we first met. When I saw the rain I decided to stay home. I feel like a failure. At this point I'm convinced that you're not reading these. Max would've come by and told me to stop sending letters by now. In the slight chance that you are reading these I want to say I'm sorry and that I still love you. I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you.