"Let this be the lowest I've ever felt as I harness the difficult mistakes I've made.
This is the 'me' whom I believe doesn't deserve anyone, unable to keep any relationship, too insecure to have courtesy, and has purposely made myself to be more complex than I actually am. I believed and relied on those complexities, and they distanced me further from everything I used to have.
I'm not proud of this person, but that doesn't mean I can't change.
I'm about to let go of my pride, and the things I thought I knew about myself.
Even if I'm not forgiven, it's up to me to decide what to do with me."
----
"So you finally agreed on a time... Today at 8pm, right? Don't change dates again," Kuroko scolded through the speaker phone.
"Ugh, I only disagreed on having it on a Wednesday... Didn't mean that I 'changed' it."
"Rindou-san...."
"Yes, senpai, I'll be there by then."
"Okay, make sure that you're well prepared."
"Of course. I've... been working up towards this moment..."
"Alright, I'll pick you up around 7. Bye."
"Bye," Kuroko hung up as Rindou set the phone aside.
She stood in the middle of her room with her hands on her hips, "I still got six hours."
Her sharp orange eyes lingered around the peculiar bedroom that she lived in for a year or so; lack of furniture, a thin futon for a bed as stacks of books occupied the empty spaces of the floor.
For the first time, she felt how awful the bedroom condition was, and sought to fix it.
Rindou began to feel different as of lately. The tension that piled in her head was gone, which started by relaxing her eyebrows. She felt like a sacrifice was made but she only felt lighter.
After cleaning the floors, she figured that she should sort out some furniture to organize her belongings that she previously just left on the ground.
She let out a sigh, "I didn't realize how dirty the floor was. How did I not get sick more often?"
"In fact, how did I manage to live like this?"
After taking a shower, she tidied her hair so the random strands weren't sticking out in many directions. She prepared a white blouse and a wine red maxi skirt, along with some brown boots to wear for later that evening.
Looking into the mirror with a curious gaze, she found a completely new person in her place. It really made her uncomfortable. Appearance wise, the shadows under her eyes were gone and her expression seems calmer.
"Why does it feel like I'm giving up?"
Once she decided to stop trying to control outcomes caused by emotional/mental factors, she suddenly didn't know what to expect from life.
That determination to control was her way of fighting back the unpredictable nature of humans.
YOU ARE READING
Second Generation ➳ KNB
Fiksi Penggemar❝ They say the people that I came to care about, until today, will disband after a game ❞ The Generation of Miracles were considered one of the strongest junior high teams in the nation before splitting up to different high schools under an oath to...
