Only You Can Make Me Whole Again

chapter 4

Chapter 4

Lexa's POV 

Why did I let her go? If I had gone with my instincts she wouldn't be laying here in my bed healing. I could have prevented this. Who am I kidding, Clarke always finds a way to do what she wants to do. It's one of the many things I love and hate about her. I stop my pacing when I her her moan.

I grab a chair and set it next to my bed. Reaching down I grab her hand. She might wake up and be angry that I did. It's just something I have to do. I lean down and kiss her fingertips. "Please, come back to me, Clarke. I need you, I always have."

From the moment I first layed my eyes on her I knew she would change my life. Originally, I was supposed to kill her for the death of my soldiers on the bridge and outside of the dropship. She found a way then to save herself, as well as her people. She is the strongest person I have ever met.

Clarke starts thrashing in the bed and moaning. I try to wake her up from her nightmare, though it doesn't work. Suddenly, she bolts up in the bed and let's out a blood curtling scream. 

She looks at me with this dazed face and next thing I know she is hitting me. Not many of her blows actually land, but as gently as I can I grab her hands to hold her down. I start singing to her an old trikru lullaby that our nomons used to sing to us as little kids.

Just then Octavia bursts into the room with Lincoln behind her. "Is she ok Heda. I can fix her some sleep tonic with pain relief." Lincoln says. I look down at her and she opens her eyes. 

Clarke speaks up then "No, Lincoln I am fine. Octavia, can you bring us some food please. I'm starving and I know Lexa probably hasn't ate anything either." 

Clarke's POV 

Clarke glances down at her hands and sees Lexa is still holding them. Lexa goes to remove them and Clarke squeezes tighter. "Thank you, Lexa. Your were right. I shouldn't have gone in there, but I did learn a few things. We need to talk."

"No, Clarke. You need to eat then rest. We can talk when we get back to Polis." Lexa says. I don't remember some of what happened with Bellamy. I am not sure I want to remember. 

Octavia comes in then with two plates of food and Lincoln follows with three cups and a pitcher of water. "Here you go Clarke, you must drink all the tea. It's a little bitter but, I added honey to it and nothing to make you sleep."

Octavia looks at Lexa and then at me."How are you feeling Clarke. Can I bring you anything else."

"No, I don't thinks so. Oh and Octavia thank you." I hope she gets that I don't mean for just the food. Octavia saved my life. Last thing I remember is her coming in the room yelling at her brother.
 
Octavia and Lincoln leave the tent. I really dislike the tea Lincoln gave me. Honey helps but not much. As we eat we don't do any talking. I guess there is not much to say, yet at the time too much to say.

Lexa's POV 

We finish eating and Clarke trys to get up to take the dishes and I stop her. "Dishes will wait till morning. The guards will come and get them." I know Clarke is trying to be strong, but she doesn't have to be with me. I look at her and I can see that just breathing hurts. I wish I could take it all away. 

"Clarke, you should get some sleep. It will be a long ride tomorrow." 

She looks at me and sighs. "I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight. Why don't you lay down and I will sit in the chair."

I frown at that suggestion and say "Its not going to happen, even if you don't sleep, you still need to be resting. Sitting in an uncomfortable chair is not going to help your ribs any."