Only You Can Make Me Whole Again

chapter 11

Chapter 11

Clarke's POV

We wake up to a knock on the door. When I go to open it, there is Lincoln. "Octavia and I just checked out Heda's room, it is safe for you both to return and get dressed. Her is some clothes for Murphy. Octavia is bringing breakfast to Heda's room shortly."

"Thank you, Lincoln. I will go wake Lexa up."

I lay Murphy's clothes on the chair and head over to Lexa. I grab her hand and start rubbing circles on the back of it. "Lexa, it's time to wake up."

She slowly opens her eyes and looks at me. "What's happened? Is everything ok?" She asks.

I squeeze her hand. "Yes, we have to go to your room and change. I also have to change your bandages. Octavia will be there soon with breakfast."

She smiles as I help her up, "Ok, Clarke. Wake up Murphy and invite him to breakfast."

I go over to Murphy as she is wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Murphy, wake up. There is a change of clothes in the chair. Meet us in the room next door in 20 min, for breakfast. We have to talk."

"Thank you princess. You will never find me saying no to a free breakfast." He says. All I can do is grimace at the name. I chuckle as I turn to Lexa. Same old Murphy, he never changes, though I see he has matured a bit since I last saw him. Probably this girl he met, Emori, I think he said.

Lexa stands up and I walk over and grab her hand as we walk out of the room. We walk quietly to her room. When we get there I turn around and put my arms around her. I don't ever want to let her go. She smells of the woods, honey, and sage. 

She looks in my eyes and leans over to give me a quick kiss. After I help her with her clothes and her bandages, I grab my clothes and walk to the bathroom. As I'm taking off my blood stained shirt from yesterday, I get a good look in the mirror and gasp.

What I see repulses me. My upper body has bruises that are now turning yellow and green. That doesn't bother me so much. It is what is underneath all the bruises, that I can't stand.

There are dozens of burn marks, from the shock lashing Bellamy inflicted upon my chest. They will leave ugly scars that will never go away. How could anyone ever love someone who is so damaged. I slowly drop to the floor and start sobbing. 

Lexa comes into the bathroom at this time and drops to the floor and pulls me into her arms. "Its ok, my prisa. I am here. Now tell me why are you crying."

"Lexa, you can't possibly want me. I am damaged goods, and that is only on the inside. On the outside I will have these horrible scars that will never go away. They are just so repulsive." I sob.

Lexa just pulls me in closer and starts kissing each scar and bruise. She looks at me in a mixture of awe, disbelief, and love. "Clarke, my prisa, you don't see what I see. We will start with these bruises and burns."

She pauses as she kisses each one again. "These will scar, that is true. For me they remind me of your bravery and love for our people. Bravery and love for our people are a most precious thing. It is something that should not be forgotten. It should be honored for the sacrifice that has been made."

She then moves on to my shoulder, placing light kisses all around my shoulder. She starts cleaning the wound and putting on a new bandage. "This one here shows the strength of the love you feel for me. You took a bullet for me and could have died in the process." 

She takes a deep breath kisses me lightly on the lips and continues. "Clarke, you ask how o could ever love you, and I ask how could I ever not love you. You are the strongest, most courageous, beautiful person I have ever met. I don't know how I could be so lucky to have you love me back. You should were your scars proudly. They are your badges of honor. Proof that though this world can hurt you and those you love, through it all you are still standing. Your enemies can't break you."