Ivory Shadow

Chapter Six: Thunderstorm

"Ivory? So what do you think, do you wanna grab some coffee together? If you don't like coffee that's fine we could do something else I just..." "Coffee sounds, er, great, but you don't have to do that." "And why wouldn't I want to do that?" he said teasingly. "You don't need to hang out with me out of pity, or because you feel bad for me, plus I'm not one for having friends I'm kind of a loner." "And what if I told you, Ivory Garland.." my name sounded like velvet coming through those lips. "That this was me purely wanting to ask you out on a proper date after getting to know you?" "Well technically you didn't get to know me, I didn't speak remember?" "This is true, but I looked through your artwork, and I feel like I got to know you more than words could've ever said. So what do you say?" The way spoke left me breathless. I was astonished that this boy could have any sort of interest in me, I felt if I was going to be on a date with him, at least could be where I had a safety net, in case my anxiety acted up? "Hmm. Can I pick the coffee place?" "So you do like coffee I could tell! Of course you can, actually you know more places then I do, I've only been here a few weeks, I'm still learning the town."  "Ok, I know a good spot, meet me at The Coffee Loft tomorrow around 11?" I said unsure of myself. I wasn't used to making plans with people. "It's a date. I actually have to get going, football tryouts are tonight, but I'll see you tomorrow." he flashed his famous crooked smile, picked up his bookbag and strode off. 

I left feeling oddly serene for once, I hadn't felt this way in awhile. I wasn't sure if I could trust my feelings yet though, I still wanted to be cautious. This could end up being the beginning of something amazing or it could ruin me, I got much more attached to this boy then to anyone I'd known in school, and it frightened me. I haven't known him long yet he made me feel like I had known him my whole life. I pulled in to my familiar long driveway, and saw the wind slightly picking up, blowing the wildflowers back and fourth. I could see some darker clouds heading this way.  I walked up the steps and unlocked the big oak door and stepped into the living room, smelling lavender and honey, a comforting and calming smell that made me feel instantly safe. "Oh sweetie you're home! I take it you decided to go to the youth group, how did it go? How are you feeling?" My mom was sitting at the kitchen island holding a big cup of hot tea, reading a gardening magazine. "It went much better then expected?" "Really? Tell me about it!" She said excitedly as she sat her tea on the table. I explained to her how the group session went, told her a little bit about some of the kids experiences and what they were going through. Then there was really no way to avoid it. "Actually, the main reason I went was because this kid named Rowan asked if I wanted to come, their mother was the leader of the session." "Rowan? Is this a new friend? How come you've never mentioned her? What does she look like? When can I meet her?" My mom spiraled out of control. She loved the thought of me making friends. I took this as an opportunity to avoid more questions, just for the night. "Well actually we are gonna get coffee tomorrow at your place. I thought it would be a good way for me not to be too anxious." "That's a great idea hun! I'll make sure to save a nice table for you two, I'll set it up real nice and I can put out scones! Oh you love blueberry scones! And maybe some...Sorry going overboard I know I'll play it cool now, no worries. Why don't you go relax for a bit and I can order us some take out?" "Sounds good mom." I suddenly regretted whether or not I should've scheduled our date where my mom would be. In hindsight it seemed like a good idea. But when she realizes "She" is a "He" who knows what will happen? I've never really been on a date before. So I'm not sure where my mom stands on the whole dating scene, if she will be supportive or slightly over protective. I can see it going both ways. My mother and I are very close because while I went through countless sleepless nights with panic attacks and night terrors, she was always there. Helping me breathe through it and keeping me sane. As sane as I could be. I put her through hell and she never complained once. 

I took out canvas from our craft closet and found some charcoal, and sat it against the wall near my bed. I changed out of my school clothes, and put on a white oversized v neck shirt. I then picked up my drawing supplies and set up my art easel. It had been awhile since I felt like doing such a big piece. I was feeling a little inspired after hearing Rowan and how he's endured through his depression. So, I pressed the black charcoal against the rough canvas surface and from memory attempted to draw His face. I started with the eyes. Those piercing grey stormy eyes, despite being so striking, they were also cheerful and bright. Welcoming. I saw the rain coming down slowly outside my bedroom window. I opened it, and let the cool spring air fill my stuffy room. It made all the difference. My head was calm, and my heart was longing. I wanted to be with him again, but tomorrow seemed so far away. I could hear thunder rolling in the distance as I finished off the first eye. It stared back at me intently. Then a knock at my door made me jump, I grabbed a sheet out of my hamper and threw it over my artwork, and opened the door. "Yes?" "Foods here, If you wanna come down sweetie, I got some Chinese." Suddenly my stomach roared. I didn't realize how hungry I had been. I closed my door behind me and came down the stairs behind my mom. 

I sat crisscrossed on the couch and pulled a blanket over myself. Then I pulled my hair out of my bun and instantly felt the dull headache I had fade away. I pushed my hair off to the side, grabbed some chopsticks, and starting digging in. "I had a panic attack during history today." I brought up casually. "Oh no hunny, I'm sorry. Did you go to the nurse?" she said with a sad slightly stressed look. "I ended up just sitting on the floor in the hallway, it passed eventually." With a little help, but I left that part out. "Well that's good it wasn't really bad. I was thinking about asking you something lately but I didn't want to stress you out." Uh oh. What was this about. She must of seen the look of cautious curiosity come across my face. "Well there has been a lack of help at the coffee house as of late, I actually had to let someone go a few days ago. Since I'm the manager now, I was thinking about asking if you wanted to have an after school job if it wasn't too overwhelming. I could train you and it could be a lot of fun! But I don't want it to affect your school work, or make your anxiety worse that's the last thing I want, I just thought maybe it might help keep your mind busy, also it could give you some extra cash." I had been thinking about applying to some places in town, but never followed through, the thought made my mind spin. This would be an awesome opportunity to get started in the workforce and help me with my social anxiety. "That would be incredible Mom, thank you so much!" I was overcome with gratitude. I jumped out of my seat and hugged my mom. "You're welcome sweetie, We'll have you start Monday after school then!"