The language in this chapter will be cursing. A lot of it. Just letting everyone know. Thanks Candi.
Bella’s POV:
That poppas ass thinking he can come into this house and try to control things. Well he got that shit wrong. He wasn't about to control me that's for damn sure. Who the fuck cared if Aro sent him to spy on our family. I don't answer to Aro. And no else should either. Plus I thought Carlisle was like something of friends with this Aro. So why did he have to check on things. This is my family and he isn't going to take me away from them. Or them away from me. I knew that mates were the strongest bond but that didn’t mean I was going to just give up everything for this vampire. I was a grown ass women, well not grown fully, but fuck you catch my drift. I could never be mated with a asshole out to take me away from my loved ones. Or hurt them. And I know Edward said the same damn thing ,well, until Angela. And look how that turned out.
So what if I think he is so sexy and I want to take him and claim him. Make him mine in every way. Fuck I needed to stop thinking things like that. He's the fucking enemy. Therefore he needs to stay the fuck away. Go back to your masters asshole.
And let me say up front that I love Jasper for sticking up for me. I'll have to find a way to thank him properly that later. Within reason seeing as I'm human and I guess not his mate. So, I would have to maybe get him a gift or a kiss on the cheek.
Ugh I was so mad. Truthfully I didn’t really know why I was so mad. Obviously I was mad over finding out that Aro wanted something to do with my family. And that I was mated to Felix, a higher up guard by the way he was sent here. Maybe it was Jasper leaking his feeling on to me.
Felix, or whatever the fuck his name was, needs to go back where the hell he came from. I am so tired of asses trying claim me. Pussyward has ruined me toward men. Real men that is. I had no idea what Angela saw in him. Really Edward was not a real man and so damn controlling.
Damn my chest is fucking killing me. Damn it where the hell is Jasper now that I'm in pain. Bella chill out Jasper isn't the one your mad at. Don't be taking this out on him. I knew I'd be happier if I just forgot anything that happened today. Trying my best not to let my emotions get the better of me. That was what I kept telling myself. Really I knew that the pain I was feeling was due to me denying my mate and not letting him close. But he wasn’t getting near me anytime soon.
I went up to my room at the compound and read for a few hours. It was quite the relaxing thing to do. And though I did have pain, I was stubbornly ignoring it.
"Ahhhh." Shit. What the... grr. I am going to kill someone if the pain doesn't go away. It only intensified after Felix left. Well more like ran like a coward. That’s because you denied him. A part of my brain said. Fine. Go. I'm happy with you gone. Ugh. No your not. My brain reasoned again. I ended up curled in bed.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." I fall back on my bed clutching my chest. Isnt there a less painful way to deny my mate.
"Oh Bella we are so very sorry. Had we kept out of it you wouldn't be denying your mate. You wouldn't be happy to find out that he was Volturi, but you would give him a chance and now things are wrong." I wish I could have screamed out to her how much I didn't give a fuck. How this pain was all her fault. But I couldn't. I was dying. I hated them all right now. Cursing all vampires for even existing.
"The pain you are feeling is because you denied your mate Bella, though we had a hand in you denying him, you did that on your own out of fear or whatever." When the fuck did Jasper get here. I just growled at him. And it really sounded like a growl. At least to me. Now he wasn’t going to get a gift or a cheek kiss. He was siding with that asshole who ran away leaving me in pain.
"The pain you feel will only go away when you mate is around. Now, I'm not saying that you should give in to him. God no. Fight. But let him in some. The pain will only get worse way worse than when dick head left you that first time." Well no shit. I wanted to say, but continued to growl at them all instead. Who are they kidding. I'm not some little girl anymore. I don't need a man, vampire or anyone to love. I'm fine on my own. I wouldn't give in into no man, vampire. Fuck this pain. I will just get through this. At that my pain went through the roof and I curled into a ball. Tighter. Why can't I just give into him. Was my last thought. I passed out.
—————————time skip————————
I don't know how long I laid in pain, but it could have been years to me. And time didn't matter to me, but some time during the night my pain was subsiding. My body was finally relaxing and I knew that it was my mate. The jackass couldn't stay away. I would have to put on a strong front to get to leave for good.
"I don't care if you have to hog tie him Jasper, but don't let him in here with us. I don't want to talk to him. Mate or not." Fuck the pain intensified. “I don’t want him near me.” "Ah" I really needed to stop voicing that.
You should be grateful that he came back and the pain is gone. My subconscious was a bitch sometimes. And I am grateful, but only for no pain. I mean how can my mate be working for the enemy. Alice entered then.
"You know Bella at some point you might actually care that you have a mate or not. And what will you do if said mate isn't there because you didn't give him a chance. Or better yet if he dies and you die with him. Not to mention going crazy. Is that what you want? No one is trying to push him on you, but you must understand that he's not going anywhere. You really have to stop the whole denying thing too. Your killing the both of you the more you do. And just to let you know that he's not Edward. He's better because he’s apart of your soul and you his. Therefore he will never leave you. Edward was an asshole, who used you. Don't let your insecurities win, because my brother broke your heart." I huffed refusing to answer. Leave it to Alice to guilt trip me when it was her and Jasper that told me to cautious in the first place. I mean come on. After telling me what they did. She didn't understand how I felt about all this. I didn't want to be apart of this life. Not to mention, I hated my decisions being made for me. Well I didn't want to be apart of this life thanks to Edward mostly.
But I gave in some. It was nice to be able to breath a little. "Fine, he can sit outside my bedroom door. That's it. And I won't keep talking about my mate in a bad way. I just need alone time away for now. When and if I change my mind, I will let you all know. Until then if you have a problem with my rules go now and don't come back." I was mostly talking to Felix. Well I knew his name but I was a cold bitch today. Why stop now? And some to Alice, but she wasn't fazed. She never was though. I had become a lot more cold in the last few months. And se all knew who was to blame for that. But no one dared say anything in front of Angela fearing she would leave dear Edward.
When Felix came to outside my door I finally was able to relax. Though I'd never let him know that. After I changed and Alice laid with me; I fell asleep. Tomorrow I'd be have a long conversation with the family. And hopefully spending time with Angela. I was not going to think about him.
