Can't I Touch Your Heart?

Chapter 55 The Difference We Hold

Loraine began playing another piece and Rhea felt the music as she closed her eyes. This time, the music was slower and softer. She opened her eyes and looked at Loraine's face. He had closed his eyes while playing. Maybe, he was feeling it too.

She remembered that she had never asked him if he liked what he was doing. He was just doing it for the sake of it. Maybe, it was just for his grandmother. He just wanted it to touch her and that would make him breathe and that shall be an eternity. There was no love for the piano in his eyes, whatsoever. Amidst his playing, she held his hand and he stopped abruptly.

'You don't have to do this,'

"What is the meaning of this?" Loraine asked. She looked into his eyes and asked him "How are you now?"
He looked into her eyes "What fears are there inside you? What is the burden you carry? Why do you play the piano when all it has done is hurt you?" She asked.

He didn't say a word. She smiled "You don't have to hold on to those fears. I'm not going to tell you to forget all those fears but can you forgive those who have hurt you? Because when you forgive people, you hurt a bit less and you heal a bit more,"

"You don't understand," He whispered.
"I know, that's why you don't tell anybody what you're going through because first of all-- They won't understand and even if they do, they can't help you anyways,"

"What are you trying to say?" He asked.
"You don't have to do this. You don't have to throw everything away. You should talk more,"

"You want me to talk, huh," He slapped her hand "Everything is so messed up. Every day I learn some new pieces and raise people's hope in me. The piano is what I'm identified with. Without it, I'm nothing. This is all I feared and now I'm lost. Because in the end when you lose somebody, there is no candle or prayer that can save you from the fact that the only thing that you're left with is a hole,"
He took a deep breath.

"You know what I'm scared of?" He said "I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of playing this damn thing every day again and again and again. I can't move on and I don't want to. If it makes me weak then fine I'm weak. And a total wuss! And a horrible person-"
"You aren't-"
"Just shut up," He said, "Or I'll bloody hate you! In fact, I do hate you,"
"...No. No, you don't,"
"I should! I should, goddammit!" He looked at her,

"What do you want from me? Do you want me to quit? Do you want to see me cry pathetically? I just wanted to be left alone- Was that so wrong? I'm not like you. I don't have loving parents or people around me all the time so that I can forget. I'm alone so all I can do is think about the past when I wasn't alone. I don't know how it became this way. I used to have a plan all the time back then but now I don't and it hurts!" Loraine turned back and pressed his eyes.

"I didn't want to hurt you," She couldn't believe she made Loraine cry. That Loraine who didn't even laugh at the funniest jokes was crying and it was hurting to watch. She wished she hadn't asked all those questions "I'm sorry, I really-" Rhea's voice cracked and she started crying too "Why am I crying?" She cleared her throat "I'm just so sick of fucking crying!"

"Leave," He ordered.
"But Loraine-"
"I won't repeat myself,"
"I can't leave you like this-"

"Then you shouldn't have made me like this in the first place!" He shouted as he turned towards her "What problem do you have with us? First, it's Ember and now me? So anyone who gets close to you gets hurt? Is this what we get when we trust you?!"
"No!"

He calmed down "Then, what should I expect?"
"You should expect love, you should expect somebody who'll love you for who you are,"
"Is this your love? I'm not loving it-- It hurts,"
"When you change yourself, it hurts but it's worth it. When you work out, you are changing your body and it hurts but the outcome is worth it and you feel happy.

I just want you to look at your situation and feel like you're not alone. And when you fail, you would try again. It's not the end until you've given up. It's not the end. There is still hope. You can do it, Loraine. You are not weak, you have a soft heart. And having a soft heart in this cruel world takes courage not weakness,"

He looked at the floor for a while as everything turned quiet. Then, he whispered "Hey,"
She looked at him.
"Let's stop," She took a breath and looked at him "I'm letting you in," He said "I don't let people in, so don't make me regret it,"

She wiped her face "I won't,"
Ember entered the room and both of them looked away "I'm back guys," He smiled and none of them said a word "Were you guys crying?"
"Loraine played a piece so strong, it made both of us cry," Rhea smiled.
"Really? What is it called?" Ember asked Loraine.
"It's called life," Loraine replied.
"Can I hear it?"
"It is not complete yet,"

Meanwhile, in New York Central Medical Centre, a black-haired man, with wrinkly hands, a white coat, and wrinkly, blue eyes. He seemed to be in his early thirties. He looked into a pile of medical reports kept  before him, "Aren't you getting married next month?" One of the doctors sitting next to him asked.
"I was, I dumped her,"

"What? Why?"
"She doesn't shower after her gym, disgusting woman. I can't spend my life with someone like that," He got up, "Anyways, I got work, someone ringed me up recently,"
"Outside the US?"
"Yes, from India. He's an old patient, I've worked on him once. Seems like he's having some complications, I was just looking into his medical history,"

"The case of Ember Helberg, I remember it being included in a medical journal, I read about the gene therapy they made him go through,"
"This case is so bizarre, the success of that surgery was a miracle. That's why this young boy is my priority,"

He looked at an old picture of Ember attached to the file, 
"He is so different,"

-To be continued

Can't I Touch Your Heart?
Teach Me The Art of Living