Lose Control

2.3

All for the Benefits,
part three of three

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I've lost count of my many hours and how many times we've came together on our love making position. Ang huli ko na lang naaalala kagabi ay kung pano kaming pareho umiyak. Yes, my husband, my almost stoic husband has cried with me.

And now waking up with him, makes me want to cry again.

Ang OA pero kasi naiiyak talaga ako. Except sa ito ang unang beses kong magising nang katabi siya, ramdam na ramdam ko na rin ngayon na kahit kailan hindi naman pala ako MU sa'min. Mag-isang umiibig.

I thought I have this petty crush on my own husband that later on turned into lust. Akala ko ganoon lang 'yun but who am I kidding? I was in denial for months now. Mahal ko si Vain. Akala ko kung itatatak ko sa isip ko na pinagnanasaan ko lang siya, baka pareho namin hindi maisip na mahal ko na pala talaga siya.

Vain is the easiest person to fall in love with. It might seem that we only have our husband and wife moments during the weekends but no-- I feel him as my husband everyday.

He never forgets to check up on me during the day and call my secretary to make sure I've eaten lunch. Kahit na minsang i-deny niyang madalas siya ang nagpapadala sa sekretarya ko ng lunch ko, alam kong siya 'yun. The look on my secretary everytime she hands me my meal says it all. Kinikilig rin siya sa pinaggagagawa ng asawa ko.

That's not the end of it. Masyado pang maraming bagay ang ginagawa niya para sa'kin kahit ayaw niyang aminin. Those little antics has made me fall without me expecting it.

Mahal ko na siya pero ayokong malaman namin dalawa. Malaman niya nang literal, malaman ko sa puntong kailangan kong tanggapin na mahal ko talaga siya.

I didn't want him to know dahil ayoko namang mahulog sa isang sitwasyon na ako lang naman 'yung nagmamahal. I never wanted to be rejected. Lalo nang mismo ko pang asawa. If I will love him, I told myself, I will love him in discrete without the risk of being rejected.

Duwag? Sobra.

It's been fun thinking I only fantasize him and who could've thought that could lead to this.

Hinaplos ko ang buhok ni Vain. Napangiti ako. Nakaunan kasi siya ngayon sa dibdib ko habang nakayakap ang braso pati binti sa'kin na akala mo mawawala ako.

"I love you." Bulong ko.

"I love you more, wife."

Umakyat na yata lahat ng init ng katawan ko sa mukha ko. Nag-angat nang tingin si Vain at gusto ko na lang yatang kainin ng kama sa hiya.

He chuckles and kisses me softly. Bigla siyang nag-pout! "Bakit ba nahihiya kang sabihin na mahal mo ako?"

He sounded like a kid in tantrums and with his mouth pouted like that, I couldn't help but to laugh.

Bahagya siyang lumayo at sinimangutan na ako. "Nahihiya ka na ngang mag-'I love you' sa'kin, ngayon naman tinatawanan mo ako. Grabe! Have mercy on me, sweetheart!"

Tawang-tawa talaga ako sa kung anong kalokahan niya ngayon. Sa gigil ko ay talagang pinanggigilan ko na ang mga pisngi niya at hinila siya para mahalik-halikan.