Lose Control

2.2

All for the benefits,
part two of three

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There is something with the way Chrys sips her wine. I can't help but to notice all her little movements, too. It's like she's drawning--more like inviting--me in. The confusing part of this is that she make it all look so damn effortless. Ni hindi ko alam kung sinasadya niya ba o hindi ang bawat galaw niya.

I asked her to take a sip and I confirmed it.

My wife is seducing me.

"Chrysanthemum, do you know what you've gotten yourself into?"

"Maybe." She took another sip. "What are going to do about it?"

All I plan to do was loosen my tie but when she bit her lower lip as she stares at me, I completely removed it. I even unbuttoned three buttons of my shirt. I tried to look unaffected but it was the hardest thing.

I never knew my own wife could be a seductress.

Ako naman ngayon ang kumuha ng wineglass ko at inubos ang laman noon. Can't wait to go home but there's still dessert.

For six months, I've endured all the nights I got to spend with her like this. It wasn't because I didn't liked these nights but it was sure painful for me that I have to endure it. Sino bang hindi mahihirapan kung hindi ka man lang pwedeng lumampas ng hanggang hawak sa sarili mong asawa? Someone should hand be the trophy for being the most patient and controlled husband.

I've known Chrys since I turned fifteen. She was thirteen then. Alam ko na agad na siya na ang mapapangasawa ko. I didn't mind at all because I really liked her. The moment I saw her pictures, hell we were so young back then, I was mesmerized. I never to got to really like anyone else because I was fixed to the idea of having her as my wife. When I turned twenty-one, the benefits of our marriage was explained and neither of our families refuse to take down the offer. I was twenty-three when I first finally saw her in person. It took me ten years to actually flew in here in the Philippines to meet her. But she was with a man, her bestfriend my investigator said, but I can see it all in her eyes that she likes the man more than just a friend. My dad was right and I made the right decision not to come to her that day. Ilang taon na lang din naman kasi, sa'kin pa rin naman ang bagsak niya. Just six months ago, a week after I turned twenty-six, we got married.

As what I've expected, she didn't even know I exist. Tita Carmelia, her mom, explained to me that it was the only consolation they could give her. Let her live a life where she wasn't confined to the idea of the arrange marriage we have. It was okay for me, I would choose that for her too.

She was mature enough to fully understand the situation we are in when the news finally broke to her. May mga bagay talaga sa mundo na hindi matatanggihan kahit na kalayan pa ang kapalit.

I fully want our marriage to work out and be as normal as it can get. Pasasaan pa na siya ang dahilan kung bakit ako marunong mag-Tagalog ngayon. She is the only woman for me and when I finally got her to have my last name...

She wanted a serious talk over coffee.

My vision of what I wanted with our marriage is far from hers, apparantly. She insisted on the unwritten contract we should have. Sa makatuwid, isang kasunduan lang ang naganap na kasal. Kasunduan lang.