I'm Still Here

Hospital

When I open my eyes I'm in the backseat of Mikey's truck. Danny is driving recklessly, looking back at me every few seconds. "Your brother and Drew are going to kill me." I smile at Danny's words, he is trying to keep his mind off of me. Everything goes black again.

I open my eyes again, the sterile smell burns my nose. Hospital, I'm at the hospital. The white walls sting my eyes. "Mom," I whisper.

Like magic she appears before me. "You're okay sweetheart," she has obviously been crying. I try to move my hand but a searing pain runs up my arm. "Keep still," Mom says.

"Is she awake?" I familiar voice says.

"Danny?!" I struggle to sit up, but Mom pushes me down.

"Danny, hunny maybe you should wait outside for a little," Mom says.

"No!" I scream, "Danny please stay," hot tears streak my face.

"I'll be back, Lizy," he says. I hear his foot steps grow quieter then the click of a door.

"I have my own room?" I ask mom. I realize it's a very stupid, irrelevant question, but it was the first thing to come to my mind.

Mom laughs, "Mikey and Drew paid for it," she smiles and kisses my forehead. "Do you want to see your brother and Drew?"

I swallow and open my mouth to say no, but the door opens and the are already next to my bed. Drew has tear streaks down his face his hair is all messed up and he wears just black. I screw up. I look over at Mikey. His eyes are puffy and his nose is red. His hair is faded and flat. I didn't just screw up I fucked up, big.

I start crying. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry," I cry harder. I try moving my hands again, but it still hurts like a bitch.

"Sweetheart it's okay, as long as your okay," Drew starts crying, he hugs me carefully. Mikey stays silent. I look over at him.

"Please forgive me, Mikey, I'm so sorry I just... I couldn't take it anymore."

A tear falls down his face and he hugs me, it hurts so much but I hug him back. "Don't ever do that again."

"I won't," I say still hugging him.

***

3 days have past my arms feel better and I'm allowed to sit up and move them, even though I moved them anyway. Mikey and Mom have been sleeping in the extra bed and on the couch for the bad 2 nights. I haven't seen Danny yet and I miss him. I haven't gotten to apologize to him yet. I look at the clock on the TV thingy it's 2am. Mom and Mikey are dead asleep. So I go for a walk. I need to think.

I jump of the hospital bed and grab some sweatpants so my butt isn't showing. I grab the IV thing and quietly open and close the door. Am I allowed to walk around? I don't even care anymore. I walk down the hall the cold floor feels good under my feet. I managed to find the waiting room. Good thing to 'cause I don't remember what room I was in. I walk up to the reception desk.

"Excuse me," the elder reception lady looks at me, "I've went for a 2am stroll and I forgot what room I'm in."

"It's okay, what's your name, sweetheart?" she asks getting ready to type on the computer.

"Elizabeth Rose Morton," I say shift my weight to my other foot.

"Lizy?" I hear someone say behind me. I turn around.

"Danny!" he runs up to me and hugs me right. "I'm so sorry I can't believe I put you threw this," I start to cry, so much crying.

"It's okay, it's okay," he says calmly stroking my hair. "Elena, can I take her back to her room?"

"I shouldn't let you, but yes, please come back down here before my shift is over, okay?" the receptionist says.

"Thank you so much!" Danny says hugging the elder woman. "Come on her shift is over at 5am," Danny holds my hand and pushed the IV thingy for me. "You're in room 1067, by the way."

"How do you know? How do you know the receptionist? How long have you been here?" I say making him stop walking on the last question.

"I've been here for 5 days, Lizy, your mom won't let me go I your room so I walk up there when me and Elena aren't swapping stories. I met her the 2nd night I was here. She is the sweetest, funniest old lady I have ever met." Danny laughs.

I smile, "I've missed you so fucking much," I kiss him, he kisses me back and wraps his arms around my waist.

"I've missed you so fucking much, too," he smiles against my lips and pulls me into a supply closet. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say unbuttoning his shirt.

"What are you doing?" he says with amusement in his voice.

"Exactly what you think."

***

4:25am

I put my sweatpants back on and Danny puts his clothes back on. We leave the closet and enter the empty halls.

"Let's get you back to your room." He kisses my forehead and tells me how much the band is worried about me.

I sigh when me get to the door of my room. "I'm sorry," I say.

"Beautiful, we have been over this it's okay I forgive you," he hugs me.

I push him away, "Why? Why forgive me? I tried to kill myself after I promised you I wouldn't. I broke your trust-"

"Elizabeth, shut the fuck up," Danny says. "I love you and I still trust you that won't change. I get why you did it, you love your father and you didn't think he would leave so soon."

"But-"

"Stop, Lizy! There's no 'buts' I love you and I will always love you and that's that," Danny says, "I have to go so Elena doesn't get in trouble."

I grab his hand and pull him back. I kiss him, "I'm sorry I questioned you."

"I have to go," he slips out of my reach and jogs back to the waiting room.

I take a deep breath and walk back into my hospital room. "Mom, Mikey?" I whisper.

"Lizy are you okay, where did you go?" Mikey says as he hugs me.

"I walked around for a little bit I'm fine," I crawl into the bed and put the IV thingy back in place.

"Okay, then good morning then," Mikey says laying on the couch again.

I fall asleep.