The Bloody Mountain

I: DIAZO

I was sitting on my chair, watching my officemates as they break the dance floor when I saw Tyler coming. He was wearing his sweet smile as always and his every move was with the beat of the music. He had this black tantalizing eyes, perfect shaped nose and kissable lips. He looks perfect whatever his hairstyle is.

He's almost perfect and lovable..... but, why can't I love him the way I love Seth? No, that's a wrong thought.

Tyler is my boyfriend, I love him, I should. He was always there when I needed someone to lean on. He was by my side when Seth wrecked my life.

Well, who wouldn't be wrecked when you lost your six year relationship without knowing why. He left... that's it. We even thought about our future, our marriage, our children but by the blink of the eye everything fades. I lost him to Sarah and I am oblivious of where the hell they are right now and I don't care. I have been told that they got married. Well, good for them. I won't shed my tears anymore because of that, those years in pain is enough. It was 5 years ago, I already moved on. Did I? Ofc I already moved on. Besides, I have Tyler now who isn't as stupid as Seth. But, I couldn't deny the fact that deep in my heart, the pain remains with a lot of questions needing explanations. Maybe because we don't have proper closure.

"What was in that little brain of yours, my beautiful lady? You even forgot to notice your boyfriend here." Oh that was Tyler. I was lost in thoughts that I forgot he was already here to fetch me.

"Well, I was thinking about my boyfriend here," I smilingly answered a matter of factly. Well, I couldn't tell him that I was also thinking about my past with Seth. I knew I had hurt him enough and I was already torturing him. Emotionally of course. A curve draw on his lips but it didn't reach his eyes. I knew what he was thinking and I'm afraid he was right again. He knows who I'm thinking. I'm starting to regret letting Tyler know all of me for I know he would always end up being hurt. I was already trying not to think about Seth but I always fail.

"Look,, ahm let's just drink and celebrate, okay?" I said as I was trying to evade the possible unwanted topics. He just then shook his head as an answer.

"I'm going to drive honey. And you shouldn't be drinking alcohol too. You knew we are going for an adventure tomorrow. You have to rrest okay?" He said and it reminded me that we will be going to Mt. Sanguineous tomorrow. I just smiled at him.

"You know my officemates just want to have a party for the success we got. I can't say no to them, besides nothing bad happened to me and nothing will. Can't you see I'm safe and sound. My hero is here too." He just patted my head and looked at me seriously like he was thinking of something I don't know.

"You were always the same Diazo I met 5 years ago" I feel hot and red after I remember the first time we met. I felt embarrassed. I was a crazy, alcoholic drunkard he met at a bar, it was a month or two after I lost Seth. I was a mess back then. And honestly I don't want to remember what I have done, how crazy I have become when that handsome asshole left me. Oh? Did I think of him as handsome? No he wasn't! Seth was a bulldog a stupid, fucking asshole. And what a shit! I thought of him again.

"Na-ah, I'm not the same Diazo you met 5 years ago, Ty. You see? I can kick , I can box and I can shoot you on head right now,, because you taught me. And you love me now" I answered him laughingly. I wasn't planning on shooting him though, I know I can't. He had become important to me. Well, yeah, he taught me defense skills since he used to be in military before. He was just forced to leave since he was forced to manage their family business. But I noticed he became silent while looking at me.

"You knew I loved you ever since the day I laid my eyes on you" he said while looking at me intently. I guess I shouldn't have said the love thing. I know it was sweet. I don't know why but I quite don't like it when he tell me he loves me for I couldn't give back the same words. I hated myself for not being fair to him. I don't want him to be hurt but that was what I always do to him. I knew I could hurt him even by doing nothing. It was already seven months since we were officially on a relationship after years of courting. Still, I couldn't say those 3 magic words to him. But, I know he already had a place in my heart. I cared for him.. and perhaps I love him. Maybe I already had loved him but I tend not to accept it since I know loving deals with pain.