Tribulation»Muke AU

•6• (Michael's POV)

WARNING. This chapter includes drug use and self harm, if you are triggered easily I strongly suggest you do not read this. Also spoiler alert^

Also it's only like half edited bc i'm lazy af

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I wake up with arms wrapped around me. I panic for a second before remembering that Luke came over last night. I turn my head to see Luke's peaceful, sleeping face and his long arm draped over my side. I lay my head back where it was and glance at the alarm clock by the bed. 12:32. The sun is shining through the window and I can hear obnoxious chirping even though it's shut. I look back at Luke, shifting my body a little so I can get a better view. His eyelids flutter open, revealing his startling blue eyes. Once he realizes the position he is in, he quickly moves his arm and slides away from me.

"I'm s-sorry.." Luke stutters while blushing and avoiding my gaze. I shrug.

"Don't be." I get up and stretch my arms. "Hey listen, about last night... I'm sorry I got so... So scared. I just- I think I have phobia of thunderstorms or something... They just really freak me out and I get all mushy and terrified." I say, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Don't worry about it, I didn't mind." Luke says, smiling at me. I nod.

"Are you okay? You look kind of shaky, you keep fidgeting.." Luke adds. I let go of the hem of my shirt that I was pulling at.

"Uh- oh, yeah, no I'm fine. I'm just still freaked out from last night.." That's a lie. It's because I haven't been high in about two days. Luke nods and looks down at his hands.

"Are you still gonna come to my parents place today? You don't have to." Luke says and I can tell he really wants me to.

"Yeah. Yeah, I will." I smile at him. I shove my hands into my sweatpants pockets to try to hide my shaking. I need him to leave so I can take a hit. To be honest, I really don't want to after what happened last time. That awful feeling of paranoia I experienced while I was high is something I never want to feel again. But this need to get high is immense.

"Okay. I'm going to head back over to my place, I'll text you or whatever before we need to leave.." Luke says as he climbs out of the bed.

"K, I'll see you later than."

Luke nods and leaves, going back to his own apartment.

I do not want to get high.

But I have to.

I can't.

I need to.

I don't want to.

but i will.

I sigh and pull at my orangey-red hair as I go get the stuff. I position the syringe at my arm as I lay down on my bed.

~

I can't sit still. I've been pacing around my apartment for god knows how long. I feel so dopey, everything is slow and hazy. But I also feel so anxious and fidgety and I cant stop myself from moving. Ugh.

I sit down on the couch and lean my head back as i tap my fingers non-stop against my leg. I sigh as I stare blankly at the sticky note on the corner of the tv screen reminding me that my first day of work starts on Monday. After I got fired from my last job, it took me a while to find a new one but I finally landed one at some lame clothing store.

I run my hands roughly over my face and groan because of this awful feeling of restlessness. As I lay down and rest my head on the arm of the couch, I start thinking. Thinking about how much I wish I never started doing drugs. The first few times I got high, I decided that I would continue because it numbed my crazy emotions. I'm aware that my mood swings can be often and sudden, and drugs made me feel like a normal person. After a while I just did it because it was a part of my routine, it was just a normal thing I did almost everyday. Then I ran into some money issues and had to work two jobs and I was just barely scraping by.