I Hold The 12 Flowers Tightly In My Hands (Seventeen Seungkwan fic)

Irrational

The next morning, Seungkwan awoke to Kyla shaking him violently by the shoulders, "Hyung! You need to get up! We have to go to work soon!" She whisper-yelled at him.

Seungkwan only groaned in response, slowly standing up. His back ached from the flimsy air mattress that he slept on.

Kyla grabbed his left arm to drag him into the kitchen, immediately letting go when she saw Seungkwan wince in pain.

"What?" She asked, confused and concerned.

"N-nothing, let's go to the kitchen and have breakfast," he anxiously tried to change the subject, walking out of the room toward the kitchen, Kyla trailing behind him.

Seungkwan's stomach was begging him for food, he decided to appease it. A banana and a piece of toast should be fine.

'Bananas are fattening.'

Fine. A piece of toast and an orange.

'That's a lot of sugar and carbs.'

Y'know what? No breakfast. Just a big-ass cup of coffee.

'Yeah that's fine.'

Seungkwan sat down at the table with the girls, sipping his coffee.

"So are you going to talk to your Seventeen members today?" Nayoung asked, taking a bite of her toast.

He sighed, "I don't know...Maybe I can just move in here and become a permanent Pristin member," he joked, giving a fake laugh.

"Yeah maybe. The whole co-ed thing seems to be working for Kard," Kyla replied, sitting down with her plate of food, "Seriously, I'll drive you back to your dorm this morning so you can set things straight with them."

He sighed, his smile disappearing, "Alright."

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind, "Noo, you should stay a little longer. We're gonna miss you," Minkyung wined, hugging onto him tightly.

Seungkwan chuckled, melting into the hug. He hadn't been hugged in so long, "I appreciate that, but I think I've already overstayed my welcome," he said.

"Despite the fact that that ISN'T TRUE, Seungkwan-hyung does need to go back home and sort things out with his group." Kyla explained, standing up from the table, getting her keys out of her pocket, "Are you ready to go?"

•••

The car ride to Seungkwan's dorm was awkward to say the least. The blonde boy was super anxious about having to talk to Wonwoo.
After a painfully silent few minutes, Kyla spoke up.

"Don't worry, Hyung. What's the worst thing that could happen?" She asked nonchalantly.

"They could kick me out of the group and I'd be jobless, homeless, and alone," Seungkwan wined meekly, scratching his head.

Kyla rolled her eyes, "That's not gonna happen and we both know it. If it makes you feel better, I'll stay with you for moral support."

"Yeah...that would help actually." Seungkwan replied, a little bit of hope sparking inside him as he thought about the more positive outcomes that could happen.

The rest of the car ride was much less quiet or awkward.

•••

Seungkwan and Kyla stood, side by side, in front of the Seventeen dorm. The older's body was shaking with nerves. He promised himself he wasn't going to cry in front of them.

Seungkwan was done crying. He was done feeling sorry for himself. He was gonna go in there and apologize, they were gonna apologize to him, and everything was gonna go back to normal. That was the plan.

He knocked on the door, holding his breath and waiting for it to open. He heard footsteps grow louder, followed by the door being yanked open by Seungcheol, who looked like he hadn't slept or eaten at all lately. He had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was all messy.

His jaw dropped when he saw who was behind the door, "Seungkwan-ah! Oh my god I was so worried about you. Thank god you're ok!" He gasped, throwing his arms around the younger boy, refusing to let go for several seconds.

Once he did, he pulled Seungkwan and Kyla into the living room, calling all of the other guys to come in, too. 11 guys shuffled into the room, looking equally tired and sleep deprived. 

Seungkwan made a beeline for Wonwoo, making direct eye contact with him, "Hyung..I'm so, so sorry for hurting you. It was...a very immature way of handling the situation and I hope you can forgive me." He explained, no emotion in his face or voice. That part was difficult, but he was able to stay monotonous.

The tall, dark haired boy was quiet for a moment before he finally spoke, "Seungkwan...Of course I'll forgive you. So you made a little mistake, you messed up. Nobody really got hurt, it's not a big deal. We're cool," he smiled, adjusting is glasses and pulling Seungkwan in for a quick hug.

'Something is wrong here.'

Seungkwan did NOT relax at his hyung's hug. Not like he did with Seungcheol a minute prior. This time it felt...wrong.
Something was very wrong about what Wonwoo said but Seungkwan just couldn't quite figure out what it was.

He tried to ignore his gut feeling, glancing over to Kyla, who gave him a proud smile and a thumbs up, encouraging him to continue.

"I'm-uh-I'm glad you guys are so...understanding," he mumbled, smiling anxiously and shuffling away from Wonwoo.

The atmosphere of the room was thick with awkwardness and bitterness. Most of the guys stared at the ground, avoiding Seungkwan's evasive gaze.

"Seungkwan, it's water under the bridge, really. We all make mistakes sometimes, it happens. We forgive you," Jihoon explained gently, taking a step toward the younger, smiling non-threateningly.

'That smile is fake.This is all fake. This is weird and it's giving you weird vibes. You gotta get the fuck outta dodge.'

"Thank you," Seungkwan mumbled, "Now-uhh-we should probably be heading to work, yah?" He abruptly changed the subject.

"Actually yeah, we were about to leave," Hansol began.

Seungkwan hastily walked toward the door, grabbing Kyla's hand and bringing her with him, "Great...I'll ride with Kyla. See you guys there!" He blurted out, quickly exiting the dorm with her still by his side.

They ran through the hallway, toward the elevator, not wasting any time.

"What was that about?! Why were you in such a rush to get out of there?" The younger asked, clearly confused by the situation, and shaken by the sudden running.

The elevator doors closed, creaking as they moved.
Seungkwan turned to look at her, sighing heavily, "Do you want to play hooky from work today?"