playing god

eleven || you point

"next time you point a finger, i'll point you to the mirror..."

—

cool band brah

yelyah left the chat

heyjosh: Not this shit again

jermbeats: josh

ptcruiser added yelyah to the chat

ptcruiser: hayley please just stay

yelyah: im not talking to him. fuck you, josh

heyjosh: Whatever

ptcruiser: josh now is not the time to be a dick

heyjosh: Why not? She's being a bitch

yelyah left the chat

tyorkie: josh, don't say that about hayley

jermbeats: hey don't even fucking go there

ptcruiser added yelyah to the chat

yelyah: god, zac, just leave it

ptcruiser: no i wont, please hayles

yelyah left the chat

ptcruiser added yelyah to the chat

ptcruiser removed heyjosh from the chat

jermbeats: oh shit

ptcruiser: will you stay now?

yelyah: ...fine

yelyah: i wont talk to him

ptcruiser: youll have to eventually

ptcruiser: what even happened? you were only alone for like five minutes

yelyah: yeah, and five minutes is plenty of time for my boyfriend to call me a whore and

ptcruiser: shit,,

jermbeats: what the fuck josh

tyorkie: and a what hayles?

yelyah: nothing. fuck him

ptcruiser: why would he... say that?

yelyah: why? as if there was something i could have done to deserve being called a whore right?

ptcruiser: no no, of course not, that's not what i meant at all

yelyah: no, i know, im sorry

yelyah: i dont even know..... zac, im sorry, its all just a lot right now

yelyah: i was just looking around the studio and found him in the back where was hiding ig, and he was with some girl but its whatever, so walking back i was joking around about the whole thing but he started getting defensive and angry and turning it on me and just, jesus

yelyah: we were both upset but there's a line, and i didnt cross it, i swear

yelyah: but josh, he was so fucking mad and just....he probably couldnt even tell you where the line was

ptcruiser: im sure he didn't mean it, hayles

yelyah: we all know he did

yelyah: im honestly just surprised its taken him this long to finally buck up and say it

jermbeats: well whether or not he meant it, he's wrong. you don't deserve that at all

tyorkie: he never should have said that. are you okay?

yelyah: its whatever. he always does this, but this time he really...

yelyah: i don't know. he crossed a line.

jermbeats: and you just put up with it usually?

yelyah: i guess so.... what else is there to do?

jermbeats: how about,,,, break up with him??

ptcruiser: i think i should go

ptcruiser left the chat

jermbeats: well shit.

tyorkie: he is his brother

yelyah: i know. i just wish this shit didnt have to divide up the band like this

tyorkie: i know, hayles, im sorry :(

jermbeats: do you think you're ready to talk to josh now, h?

yelyah: no

yelyah: i mean... what would i even have to say?

jermbeats: i dunno hayles, but it might feel better talking to him

tyorkie: no pressure though, of course

yelyah: maybe eventually. but for now i just... don't even want to look at him

jermbeats: okay, we can add him back later

tyorkie: yeah, i think we all just need some time for now

yelyah: add me back later, too please? in a while. i just need to get away from this for now

tyorkie: of course, hayles. take care of yourself

jermbeats: yeah no problem, see you h

yelyah: see you

yelyah left the chat

-

i've always wanted a group of friends like paramore. every time i see them, it's as if i'm watching some perfect group of people on television or a cinema screen, and it's happy and silly and fun and perfect. but i know, of course, that it isn't like that — nothing is, not always, not ever.