✓ | DESOLATE, paul lahote

chapter thirteen

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Paul felt as though he was in some sort of waking dream, the sight of Serena standing before him causing his mind to race and his heart to pound.

As she let out a small chuckle, she tried unsuccessfully to conceal her own amusement, attempting to cover it with a coughing fit, albeit with little success. Paul couldn't help but stare, his emotions a tangled mess of shock, relief, and sheer disbelief.

Serena looked at Paul as she confessed, her words tinted with a touch of honesty mingled with anxiety. Her eyes met his as she spoke.

"Honestly, I considered waiting longer," she began. "But my anxiety has been so overwhelming that it's made it impossible for me to concentrate on anything else, including the event that has occurred."

Paul absorbed her heartfelt admission, his own emotions still in turmoil.

"Paul," Serena spoke up, cautiously approaching him, her voice tinged with a sense of urgency.

"I don't want imprinting to dictate our emotions, especially not making us forget about our past," she continued. "But I need to understand, Paul. Why did you run? Why couldn't you commit? I need to know the reason."

Paul held her gaze and spoke from his heart, his voice laced with a mix of regret and honesty. "I ran because I was afraid of committing, of getting too deeply involved. I was afraid of falling in love just to have it end."

As Serena looked into Paul's eyes, a touch of concern etched on her face, she voiced her question.

"Did you doubt the strength of what we had?" she asked, her tone sincere. "Did you think that even in troubling times, we wouldn't be able to fix things?"

Paul swiftly shook his head, his own eyes filled with fervent denial. "No, never," he affirmed, unwavering in his response.

"Then what was it, Paul?" The intensity of the question etched in Serena's voice intensified as she hugged herself, the weight of the uncertainty clear in her stance.

Finally, after a moment of contemplation, Paul spoke up. His voice held a deep vulnerability as he confessed his greatest fear.

"I feared that it might end in a manner that was my fault," he admitted, his eyes filled with remorse. "That I was the one who would cause everything to come crashing down."

Paul's confession hung in the air, the weight of his fears settling over them like a heavy fog.

Serena regarded him silently, her expression reflecting a mixture of understanding and empathy. She stepped closer to him, her eyes locked intently on his.

"Paul, I can understand your fear," she began gently. "The fear of being responsible for ruining what we had, for letting everything slip away...it's a common fear."

As Serena lowered her gaze, her voice grew gentle yet firm. "But you're mistaken, Paul," she reiterated, her gaze lifting to meet his. "You can't believe that you're solely responsible for potential relationship failures. Just as you might mess up, I could have too. But more importantly, why didn't you just hope for the beginning?"

Paul listened intently, his heart heavy with regret and remorse. He knew she was right.

Paul took a deep breath, the weight of his realization settling in. Serena's question had hit him like a wave, washing away his anxieties and forcing him to confront the truth.

He understood her point, understanding that he had been solely focused on the potential end rather than appreciating the path that lay before them. It hit him hard, making him see the error in his ways.

"You're right," Paul admitted, his voice tinged with newfound perspective. "I've been so fixated on the possibility of the end that I forgot to cherish the journey."

"Paul, maybe it was not the time for me to even say—" But before Serena could finish her thought, Paul interrupted, his eyes filled with emotion.

"No, Serena," he interjected firmly. "It was the right time. It was never the wrong moment, and you can't imagine how much I longed to say it back to you."

She gaped at him, astonishment etched on her face as she realized the depth of his feelings.

"What?" Serena responded in disbelief, her hands falling limply by her sides.

Paul let out a weary sigh, a mixture of relief and affection. "I love you, Serena," he declared, his voice filled with conviction.

As a hint of vulnerability crept into his expression, he admitted, "Even before you said those words, I had hopelessly fallen in love with you. I never stopped."

To Serena, those words were a surprise, an unexpected declaration that caught her off guard. She had not anticipated hearing his confession on this particular day, and she was taken aback. As their conversation had been centered on their history and future, the heartfelt admission was a sudden twist in the narrative, leaving her momentarily speechless.

The air around them thickened with a strange mixture of anticipation and tension as Serena struggled to find the right words to respond. She had come seeking answers, not confessions. Paul's declaration had derailed her expectations, leaving her at a loss for how to react.

The tension in the air intensified as Serena attempted to respond, yet her words were cut off by Paul's sudden interjection. His voice was filled with resolve, and he continued, "I don't want you to think this will erase the mistake I made, Serena. But I wanted you to hear it, and if you're open to it, I'd like the opportunity to prove my feelings to you."

This unexpected turnaround left Serena momentarily stunned, not anticipating his candid response.

"Give me some time, Paul," Serena spoke softly, her voice tinged with a mixture of awe and contemplation. "Time to process your words, to understand the impact and...to acknowledge that this is real."

Paul nodded with a genuine understanding as Serena requested time to contemplate his words. He understood the gravity of his confession and the impact it held for her. He patiently replied, "Of course, Serena. Take as much time as you need."

His response was tinged with a hint of longing but rooted in respect for her need to process their newfound revelation.

Time hung heavily between them as he awaited Serena's response.

Paul waited patiently, allowing her the space she needed to come to terms with his heartfelt confession. His gaze was filled with a mix of hope and nervousness, silently willing her to accept his feelings.