Akrasia

Chapter 13

       Once Lainey settled down everyone left the room, with exception of Bucky. The team thought it'd be best to have someone near her when she wakes up. Bucky more than willingly decided he'd stay. Never once did his eyes drop throughout the whole 5 hours of silence.
     All of a sudden Lainey's eyes fluttered open and Bucky immediately snapped to attention. Slowly Lainey came back to reality with the blinding light piercing her eyes. At least she didn't have the headache.
    Bucky was intently looking at her and when her eyes met his he crumbled. They were so desperate and sad. Nothing was positive about her.
      When she quietly asked Bucky, her voice trembling , "Was that real?" He lost it inside. Solemnly he shakes his head yes and he felt horrible. Especially when her eyes water and she silently begins to sob. Bucky doesn't know what to do. All he knows is that he wanted to take her pain away. So he does the most logical thing he could think of and hugs her.
     He gently run his fingers through her messy curls and tucks her heading under his chin. Quietly he begins to whisper "it's okay, I'm here." over and over again. He held her until her hands stopped shaking and her tears were held at bay.
     Lainey pulled back quickly realizing she could kill him any moment. She almost did already.
     "Get away I don't want to hurt you." She whispers harshly.
    "Hey, Hey. It's okay you won't hurt me." Bucky replies grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze.
    "I-I-I wouldn't be surprised if I did. I've hurt many more people than you could imagine."
    "Trust me I can." He says quietly saving that discussion for later. "It's okay, you never meant to."
    "That doesn't take away the fact that I did it. I'm a monster." She whispers the last part.
     "No your not."
      "You can't tell me that a monster wouldn't murder her own mother."
      "No I can't, but I can tell you that it was forced upon you to do so." Bucky replies and she just looks down at her hands. "Look at me." He says pulling her chin up to meet his eyes.
"What you were forced to do won't change any of our minds."
     "That doesn't change the fact that I'd still be able to hurt you. Your innocent just like the people I murdered."
    "I'm not innocent." Bucky states. Lainey just looked at him confused, but she doesn't question it.
     "Can I leave?"
      "I think the other guys would want to see you." Bucky says trying to convince her to stay.
      But it doesn't work. "I wouldn't want to put any of you guys in danger, or be a burden to you." She whispers while getting up from her bed. Lainey not knowing how to get to her room waited at the door until Bucky confined into walking her there.
     Lainey immediately locked her door and snuggled under her covers when she reached her room. She wanted no interruptions because she had a lot to think about.
     All of the Avengers felt horrible for the girl. Mainly Bucky, he could never take her mind off of her. Between what she'd gone through and how empty her eyes were when he admitted to it being true.
     The worst part of all was that no one could help her through the horrific events because she wouldn't let them. Ever since she woke up she never came out of her room. Never opened the door for them. Never talked to them. Never.
      She hardly ate also. They'd slide food under her door, but when they watched the cameras in her room she'd barely eat any of it.
      Lainey wasn't submitting to their cries. She knows they want to help her, but she's already been a burden to them in her mind and doesn't ever want to be again. The only thing she does is lay in bed. Not once does she not contemplate everything that's happened to her.
    Everyday she thinks about the people she killed or almost did, like the Avengers. Her. Just a timid, beat up girl ended up being Hydra's toy. Hydra's assassin.
     The main thing she thinks about is how her mom betrayed her. Her mom worked for that deceitful and deadly organization. Her mom was in-charge of turning her into a monster. And despite everything her mom did. Her mom begged for mercy when a gun was aimed at her. The only reason  for her being shot was because she dug herself into that hell hole along with her daughter.
     Even though Lainey is enraged with her mom, it doesn't stop her from being enraged with herself. It doesn't stop her from blaming everything on herself, which is what she does everyday.
       After three days the team gave up on trying to get her to come out, even though it pained them. Lainey was surprised they hadn't broken her door down and that they were respecting her privacy.
    Even though she likes them for it and wants to stay with them, she leaves. It is easy for Lainey to sneak out. Yesterday she found every camera and covered them up. Then today all she has to do is climb out the window and reach another room. Lainey knows she could've walked out of the building, but she also knows that Bucky would immediately find her if she walked out of her room.
      Unlocking the window, she was met with the smell of moisture in the air. As she stepped onto the ledge her eyes caught the darkening sky so she moved quickly to escape the storm. Gracefully she climbed down to a different level without annoying Avengers and through the window inside.
     Once she reaches the first floor unnoticed she finds a back door and leaves that way. Her feet carry her towards the only place she's known and her mind carries her into the worries of every possible scenario for tonight.
     It wasn't long till she reached her home, but it also wasn't long till the Avengers realized she was gone. They'd already searched over the building and her room, after Bucky kicked the door down.
     Eventually they were all fighting in the common room.
     "We have to get her!" Bucky commanded
     "No we don't. She needs to figure this out on her own." Clint replied event though he hated the idea of her all alone.
    "Hydra could find her!" Bucky argues.
     "Yeah, but she's smart and could take her on." Wanda added.
     "Not unless they say whatever the heck they say to make her go bonkers." Bucky replies hysterically.
     "We'd be able to find her. No biggie." Tony says nonchalantly.
      "And why is that, Stark." Nat questioned.
      "Because I put a tracker in her."
      "What!" Multiple of them yelled.
       "You really expected me not to?" Tony asks grimly, even though it was more of a statement than a question.
        "Either way that doesn't change a thing."
Bucky scoffs. "We have to find her."
      "No we don't. She'll be fine." Steve says assuringly putting a hand on his shoulder.
     "How about if she's not back by 12 then we search for her." Clint says.
     "Fine." Bucky answers as he plumps down onto the couch. Impatiently he sulks on the couch waiting for the four hours to pass.
     Lainey stands in front of her house contemplating whether or not to go inside. Eventually she musters enough courage to knock on the door. After about 1 minutes the door swings open, revealing her dad who has large bags under his eyes and a new beard.
    His eyes settles on her and he yanks her inside and slams the door. Being close to him she cans smell the alcohol on his breath and know that this won't end well.
     Although that changes when he pulls her into a hug and mumbles, "I missed you."
     At first Lainey was confused, but soon embraced it hoping this is how it would be form now on. Suddenly he pushes her away and looks her dead in the eye and says, "where's Mom?" Lainey swallows hard and backs away, but she's restrained once she slams into the wall behind her.
     "Where's Mom?" This time he says it with menace that makes Lainey's stomach turn. She doesn't want to tell him because she knows he'd lash out at her.
       Ringing pierces her ears and her cheek burns as her head whips to the right. A bright red hand mark already formed on her face. And as Lainey's Dad orders, "Where's Mom?" Lainey knows she has to say it, especially considering she was slapped.
       "Dead." Lainey says quietly.
        "What!" Her Dad's voice booms through the House.
        "I said she's dead." Lainey shoots back only to be sent back into the wall. Which sends another round of ringing through her ears.
        "Don't talk to me like that! He orders. "What happened to her. Did you take part in this?"
       "No."
        "So you did you little piece of shit. You're nothing but a monster. You were probably the monster who killed her. Who killed the only person I cared about in my life." This hit Lainey hard. She already agreed to terms with being a monster and not cared for, but hearing it in person, drunk or not drunk, it still hurt.
"Get out!" He yells.
"Please, let me stay." Lainey pleads.
"No I don't want to ever see you."
"Why?" She begs.
"Because you look to much like Sharron. Every time I see you I think of Sharron, but she's dead to me, so you are too." He states.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean too." Lainey whimpers.
"I don't care. Get OUT!" He yells shoving her towards the door. Right when she steps out side her Dad kicks her on her back which sends he flying down the stairs. She lands on her wrist painfully and immediately knows it's at least sprained. From behind she can hear the door slam and she gives up hope.
Slowly Lainey begins to tread home. She thought her day couldn't get worse, but it does when she hears the rumble of thunder tearing through the dark sky. All of a sudden water droplets begin to pelt her with increasing speed.
The gloom in the air only made her more emotional. The whole walk back she could only reflect on what her father had said. She was a monster and not cared for. All of her monstrous thoughts swarmed her and led to her sobbing. Looking back on it she also realizes that the only reason she went was because she wanted someone to love her. Knowing that the Avengers care she decides to make an effort to let them help.
She let them help her before she knew she was a monster, so they should of anything be more willing to help. By the time she reached the tower she knew she'd let them help, and she knew definitely because she had 45 minutes in the rain to think about it.
It was 11 and Bucky was about to leave and search for the girl without them. It's been long enough in his mind considering it's raining out too. Everyone was just sitting in the living room silently when the elevator dinged. Everyone got major deja vu when the elevator doors opened ajar and Lainey was standing there.
Lainey was just standing there soaked and trembling. Even though it's hard to tell, the team still saw the tear stained cheeks thanks to her flushed face. No one stirred, not even Bucky.
Her eyes lifted towards them and seeing Bucky's concerned face made her crash. The waves of emotions took down her walls and she flew to him. Out of no where she broke into a sprint and went straight into his arms sobbing.
Bucky didn't know what to think at first as her drenched body melted into his, but he soon embraced it and hushed her.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought he'd be nice. I thought he'd be different. He-he-he- he wasn't. He said I'm a monster. I a-am a monster." She mumbles hurriedly.
"Shhhhh." Bucky coos soothing Lainey. Nat grabs a blanket and hands it to Bucky who wraps it around Lainey.
Eventually she calms down along with the tension in the room, but of course it was still lingering. Lainey pulls away from Bucky's lap and sits on the ground next to the fireplace, which Tony kindly turned on. The Avengers all gathered around the couches and Lainey.
Nat caught a glimpse of Lainey's left cheek from the fire light and was appalled to an overbearing hand print.
"Lainey what happened?" Nat questioned, her tone laced with concerned.
"Huh?" Lainey asked turning her head to Nat.
"Your cheek. Who slapped you?" Nat asked again. Everyone else was confused, so Stark asked Friday to turn the lights on and when she did everyone easily say her bright red cheek. The room went into a swarm of questions, but Bucky's was the only one answered,
"Start form the beginning, how did you get slapped and get out of here without us noticing."
"Well, yesterday I put stuff over your cameras." She says motioning to Stark.
"What?! How'd you find them?" Tony exclaims.
"You don't hide them very well." She replies which got some chucked out of Wanda and Clint. "I then climbed out the window and scaled the building to a different floor before getting in through that window."
"You did WHAT!" Bucky questions.
"You could've gotten yourself killed Lainey."
Steve notions.
"I'm fine and I don't think you'd care anyways." She said quietly. No one comments as she carries on with her story. She explains to them everything, which made her record many pitied glances.
"Why'd you see him?" Nat asks.
"I don't know really. I guess I just expected him to accept me lovingly back home, but he didn't." Lainey sighed.
"Awww, Lainey we love, I love you. Even though we've only been with each other for hardly over a week, you're like a little sister to me." Wanda says while moving to hug Lainey.
Everyone follows Wanda's lead and hug Lainey also. Tony being a jerk accidentally bumps Lainey's wrist harshly receiving a wince from her.
"Lainey you okay?" Bucky asks worriedly.
"Yeah Tony just accidents bumped my wrist."
"What's wrong with your wrist?" Nat questions grabbing Lainey's arm gently and rolling up her sleeve. Bruce comes over to inspect her wrist with Nat.
"What did you do, this is pretty black and blue." Bruce asks assessing her wrist.
"Oh I guess I forgot about that part of the story." Lainey says quietly.
"What part." Steve pushes.
"Well my dad sort of kicked me down our stairs outside our front door, and I landed on my wrist unpleasantly." Lainey explained.
Bucky swore under his breath which made Lainey grin. The least Bucky wanted to do was punch that man who Lainey calls Dad.
"Very unpleasant. You might've broken it. I'll get you some ice and I'll check it later." Bruce says standing up.
"Later?" Lainey asks.
"You need to eat first." Bruce replies with a smile walking towards the kitchen.

Hopefully you guys liked this chapter. I know Peter hasn't been in it for a while, but I need other stuff to go down first😂Also, HAPPY EASTER!🐣