Dear Diary,
Have you ever felt like the whole world is caving in on you and there's nothing you can do to stop it? That's how I feel everyday. I constantly feel like i'm suffocating and I hate it. I don't want to feel this way anymore, I can't handl...
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Dear Diary,
When my dad first left us, my mom couldn't even live properly without him. We lived off of takeout and stayed in bed all day which led to me missing out on school a lot. It wasn't my mom's fault, she was just heartbroken. All the sleepless nights I had because I could hear her crying through the thin walls of the house still haunt me today. No one should ever have to watch their mom so torn and broken. Mom was in some kind of slump for months, as if someone had put fog in her brain or something. I can't ever trust a man after that, not allowing myself to get how mom got.
"Jagiya...what's wrong?...Are you okay?Cherry!" A voice said clearly but it sounded distant from me like i was underwater or something. Everything seemed delayed, my vision blurry and distorted as my eyes refused to focus.
I was staring into the window in front of me, barely noticing the dark clothed figure that had intruded my beautiful landscape. They were persistent though, continuously calling my name in hopes of achieving my attention.
Suddenly two strong arms gripped my shoulders and shook me harshly, ripping me out of my own thoughts and bringing me back into my dull reality. I just wanted to be okay, feel okay and look okay. I couldn't understand why it was me that had to go through such hardships but I felt so numb, tired of the pain that came with living.
I desperately wanted to get away so my mind had created an oasis where it was just me and Jungkook. Funny how my mind knows how I feel, even though my heart doesn't.
"Yes, let go." I mumbled emotionlessly, staring at him in the eyes with a lazy gaze. His brows were creased with worry and his eyes filled with pain at how little emotion I was giving him. I didn't want anyone to get hurt but it seemed like no matter what i did people just kept getting hurt.
"What's happened when I left yesterday baby?" He persisted, not giving up until I explained what was happening. Usually I would've gotten annoyed at Jungkooks mother-like nagging but with the current situation and my lack of caring, it really didn't bother me. It seemed that the more he nagged and pestered, the more I wanted to tell him. It was strange.
"Nothing just leave it alone." I mumbled, leaving backwards on my chair and crossing my arms over my chest. Jungkook still wouldn't let the matter go and my grip was getting lesser and lesser.
"Come on Jagi, we can go in the library if you want to? it's more quieter there, we won't be interrupted." He offered with a cheeky smile in an attempt to warm me up a little. Wanting to get away from the crowded cafeteria, I quickly nodded and got up out of my seat. I didn't even wait for Jungkook as I headed in the direction of the library.
