A Moment in Time

01 : Using You

May 16, 2016

Hindi ko na kaya.

Ang gulo na ng utak ko.

Hindi ko na kaya pang bumagsak sa PRC licensure exam. This will be the verdict of my 5 years in college. Pero sa kasamaang palad bumagsak ako sa first try. Kaya here I am again trying my best for the 2nd time around.

And I made a deal with my mom despite of the hurtful words my father said.

"Bumugsak ka sa exam meaning hindi mo ginawa ang best mo. You just wasted all my investment in you Yana. Mabuti pa magtrabaho ka na lang."

Well, I can't blame my father for what he said. May tama naman din siya. At some point.

The deal with my mom keeps me going. Hindi na ko magpapakaiprokrita. I am not that good daughter as they know it. I am trying to make a facadę. Trying to be a good daughter. Pretending to be a good daughter in my own perspective.

But then again, how could I blame myself if I have another self.

Waking up this very morning is nothing unusual. I saw the man beside me. Shit Yana! What have you done again? You fck this guy for what gain?

Tinatanong ko din ang sarili ko bakit. Bakit ganito na naman? Ginamit ko na naman ang walang malay na lalakeng to. Ginawa ko na naman silang parausan.

Oh Gosh. Masarap pero alam ko nasarapan din ang lalakeng to. Magaling yata ako sa kama. Hindi lang utak meron ako. May dila at bibig din na pwedeng panglamutak. I look closely to this masculine being thinking of something green. Shit naman oh. Malaki din yung kargada niya. Pwede pa tung ulitin pagkatapos ng review bukas. Sana di pa siya makaalis papuntang baler.

Then I remember his name. Clark. Clark Montefalco. Apartment-mate ko siya nung College. Magkabilaang kwarto kami. Pero hindi kami halos nagkikita kasi busy ako sa studies ehh and siya din busy sa girlfriend. Kala ko nga di pa niya nagagalaw girlfriend niya kaya I never flirted with him kaya lang ng nalaman niya na nasa manila ako he keeps on chatting. Magkita daw kami tsaka uminom. Well, wala namang mawawala sa akin kaya go lang ng go.

Naglakad ako patungo sa Balcony ng condo niya.

Nice view.

Fresh air.

I lighted a cigarette and open my phone. I scroll on facebook. Hindi ko alam anong napasok sa kokote ko at napunta ako sa settings. Then this name appeared.

Blocked : Nareel Ocampo

It has been a while since I saw his name. I still have the same skip beat whenever I saw his name. But still, hindi ko pa kayang harapin siya.

Pero okay na siguro ngayon kahit kaibigan lang. Pwede mo na akong istalk ulit.

UNBLOCK : Nareel Ocampo

Sana matangap mo pa rin ako kahit ganito na ang kinahinatnan ng buhay ko.

Biglang may naalala akong kanta....

🎼 I dont wanna use you just to have somebody by my side. 🎼

But still I dont't wanna use you to ease my pain and agony.

I will stick to that!

Bumalik ako sa kama at hinalikan sa labi ang lalaking nasa kama. And gladly he responded to my kiss. Thirty minutes and I am out. I changed my mind. Di ka na pwede sa akin bukas. Thank you and I'm sorry.

Sorry Nareel that I become a stupid bitch.

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A/N: It has been years since nagwattpad ulit ako. This time Ill make tapos this. Totoong story to. Pasenxa sa mga typos and grammar sa phone lang ako nagsusulat ehh. Tsaka bagohan ako dito sa platform na to. Please bear with me readers. I appreciate your comments, suggestions, harsh reactions. 😇😇😘