Rye's Pov:
"Rye.. where are you.. going?" I hear Andy say too me in complete concern as I try to leave his room. I wasn't going to turn around and give him a reason.. I just couldn't bring myself to leave him alone when he sounds so genuinely hurt. I couldn't do that too him. Not my Andy. Did I just say my Andy?'
'I'm leaving before you have the chance to leave me. I can't go through that kind of pain again' I begin to say as I feel my heart slowly and so painfully shatter into a million pieces. i needed him. more than anyone. but im scared.
'Goodbye Andy' i continue as i turn around again to head towards the door. I hurt him, I can tell by the look in his eyes, when I look into his eyes, they're normally beaming with happiness. but not now. and i can't believe that I let myself hurt him.
i can feel the tears streaming down my face.. all i want to do is turn around and tell him that im sorry so he can hold me while i deal with this overwhelming pain..
i'm broken out of thought when someone pulls on my arm so had that it spins me to face them. of course it was Andy. i was so happy he came after me and i wish he knew that. but i know i didn't have a happy expression on my face.
'Andy please don't make this any harder than it already-'
i was cut off by Andy. but not by his words... by his tears. he had completely broken down right in front of me and i had no idea. i had broken the most important person to me. most important?
i had no idea what to do except follow my instinct so I took a step closer too him. and he knew what I was doing.. without even lifting his head up he fell forward and buried his head into my chest gripping the material of my T-shirt as the tears kept on flowing. I rested my head on his chin and traced my fingers across the back of his neck to comfort him.
after about 10 minuets he had calmed himself down. i knew that no mater what, i couldn't bring myself to leave him again. 'rye...' i hear him say breaking the silence. 'yes Andy?' 'will you sit down?'
'Rye..' he beings, he is sat picking at the varnish on my nails so I can tell that he is becoming very nervous... he continues..
' i need you to listen too me. i have no idea where my head is at right now with anything. but I know for certain that i would never leave you. I would never do anything to hurt you. you mean more to me than most people ever have. you've been my bandmate since the beginning and no one knows me like you do. you've helped me through so many tough times without even realising because you're just incredible.'
i feel my emotions running sky high as I stare into his gorgeous blue eyes as he is saying all of these things too me.
' and i had a breakdown because it killed me knowing that you thought that i could ever leave you. i couldn't cope without you, and it sounds so cringe but do you seriously think I could deal with life's challenges without you, one of the main ones being dealing with Brooklyn, Jack and Mikey all at once. my god I couldn't do that without you. i need you for reasons you would never even be able to think of because you're Rye Beaumont and you are a part of me.'
he noticed me staring at him and looked down instantly signalling that he thought he had said something wrong. he most definitely didn't.
I place my hand underneath his chin so that he is looking at me again reassuring him that what he said was okay. he gave me a little smile while he continued to pick at what was left of his nail polish. I had never known anyone who thought so greatly of me.. especially after everything we've been through. good and bad....
as he is looking into my eyes I see his eyes move from mine.. down too my lips, only for a second, then they go back down again.. 'Rye I-' before i could give him time to finish i fount my lips meeting his.
I know that there are issues with what we were doing but right now it felt like nothing else mattered.
the kiss was full of emotion and love.
i don't know what kind of love but there was most certainly love there.
just thinking about how incredible Andy was brought a smile to my face while kissing him, and i could tell he noticed because he chuckled too himself, he seemed so happy.
i was so happy.
things got more intense over time, he had repositioned himself so he was sat in my lap facing me, we were just embracing the moment while we had it. it brought back a flood of memories from last summer that i was forced to forget about. they were some of the best memories we made together, as well as the ones we were making now.
we stopped kissing. well we had to to get some air.. and all I could see was pure happiness across his face which is something i hadn't seen in a while and i was so glad to see him smiling again after earlier on..
we began to reminisce over old memories that we had to put in the past temporarily. I cant understand why i ever thought letting him go would be a good idea. i know that i have other things to be worrying about but i needed my mind taking off of them and Andy knew exactly how to do that.
i was broken out of my thoughts once again but it wasn't just by andy sitting playing with my hair like he was seconds before... it was by him shaking, so much that because his body was on mine, i felt like i was shaking too...
'fovvs... talk too me its okay..'
i see that he is holding his phone close too his chest indicating that he might have read something. I try to take the phone from his hands, he tightens his grip. i don't understand because andy has always trusted me with his phone.
eventually comes around and said he just went into initial shock but now he had to be strong for me and that I have to prepare for what he was about to tell me.
'she's gone rye.. I..im so sorry' 'Andy what are you talking about?' i say as a wave of self doubt drowns me. 'its Hayley.. she passed away, they couldn't do anything to help her it was too late'
i say nothing, i just curl up into andys lap and let the tears fall. trying to process that a part of me has gone, and it isn't coming back.
all I knew was, i was in my safe space.
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Okay so this took me so long to update and I'm sorry... thankssssss andysaddict for motivating me to continue this xo
