Anniversaries- LAMS AU (Completed)

Chapter six

^ Imagine it while reading this! lol

John's POV

"Jefferson?" I repeated in shock, no- how could he? 

(Flashback)

     I walked through the hallway trying to be unnoticeable but then I had to bump into someone. I said sorry not even looking up who it was and to my luck it was Thomas. He had a big grin on his face suggesting nothing good. He patted me on my shoulder and started talking about something- but I just really wished it was over. Then I realised he was talking about Alex. 

" You have no control- before you'll even notice. He'll be mine and I'll make sure to tear him apart"  

When those words hit me it was already too late and he was right- It was too late and I had no control. I just hoped it would be all a bad dream like in those fanfictions. Maybe I wasn't too late? Maybe I still had time? If I'd be there first- he wouldn't be able to do anything. That was if ' I'd be there on time, I thought I had time.  I got out of there as fast as I could, wishing my classes would be over. 

(end of flashback)

SHIT. I thought I had time- but he truly was right- I was too late. I couldn't control anything, even myself and my selfish actions. But was it selfish I cared for him? I just wanted him to be happy, but he wouldn't be happy with Thomas- As he said 'he'd tear him apart' as if he the world didn't treat him bad enough. 

" Alex-" 

"And I thought I wouldn't find anyone- I guess it's finally when I have luck on my side," He said dreaming. 

"Alex- I don't think it's a good idea. I know him, and he broke my heart. I don't think you should get too close to him. I know what he's capable of. " I tried to warn him but by the look of his face, he didn't believe me- of course.  (Like in every fanfic lol)

He looked at me like I was stupid, I'm not stupid- he was for falling for Thomas. He gave me a death stare before giving his defensive speech but I knew I'd never convinced him and he'll be hurt sooner or later. 

Sometimes you just have to go through yourself to understand even if someone warned you- but I just couldn't bear seeing him hurt, I didn't want him to go through the same thing I did. Jefferson will get dirt on him and after the break up he'll use t against him. 

"And I think that someone is just jealous! You're just selfish! Fucking selfish because you can't get over that I like someone else and not you! Well- welcome to the real world, Laurens. Your crushes never like you back. And you should be happy for me. You just want me for yourself. Well- guess what? I don't want to be friends with someone like YOU! You're a piece of shit, John! How could you?" And that's when he stormed off leaving me alone in the dorm.

 It hurt, it hurt so bad- especially when those words came out of his mouth. I covered my mouth trying to stop the tears for running down my red face. Why do I always have to fuck things up? The tears wouldn't stop strolling down my face, they were like always- bitter and warm. 

I became so tired from crying, I cried myself to sleep and still those tears would stop running. I am selfish?  And I thought- I thought we would be something... But like Alex said 'welcome to the real world'- your crushes never like you back. That was real, I knew it and still, I couldn't prepare myself for the pain that was coming. He gave me hope- HOPE to later shatter and break you apart. If he didn't like WHY did he give me HOPE? 

I guess he really deserved Jefferson after all- they were all the same, I hoped that he'll burn. He used me like a toy- he played with my feelings and deep inside I knew he was like the rest of them, heartless. 

I woke up at 9 p.m. and he still didn't come back- not that I thought he would. I decided to go to the Schuyler sisters- they knew how to cheer people up, especially Peggy and Eliza. Angelica was known for being the 'roast queen' but I didn't want her to go to Alex to just scream at him because it was my fault- not his. 

My heart was still pounding really fast, I looked like the biggest mess you'd ever see- tears still running down my face which was redder than the blood running in my veins from all the crying,  and my hair loose with a lot of tangles. I was heartbroken. 

I just didn't understand one thing- why was the world so cruel?

Why did I have to love someone who gives me so much joy but at the same time has the power to hurt me the most shattering my like thin glass with no mercy? 

Why did I have to be hurt so badly by someone I loved the most? Someone I trusted the most? Someone who was my whole world? 

 I loved him so much- that I wanted him to BURN. 

'I hope that you burn' 

//Wordcount: 899 [without the author's note] Sorry for the short chapter but I'm in school sadly... Anyway,

no-one reads this shit actually. But still I'ma continue this even though no-one reads it... And I'm really happy because I've got  #526 in lams- and I didn't expect it. And I'm thankful for it. Yeah, that's it. Have a nice day/night and see you on Saturday + I'm seeing endgame this Saturday also sooo another thing to be happy about! Well- see ya turtles. 

-T