Anniversaries- LAMS AU (Completed)

Chapter eight

Do you guys like this new cover I did?

John's POV

I haven't seen him- I moved out, I needed to get him out of my life. But that didn't mean I dropped out of college- I just avoided him. I left all of my stuff, and there was no turning back. Life felt different, everything- something was missing. It didn't feel like before I met him- but as if he was a faded nightmare coming back over and over again.

It was my first Christmas alone- without family, friends. They all went somewhere- Laff and Herc went to Paris, the Schuyler sisters stay with their family and I was alone. I wondered what Alex was doing. I missed him but I needed to go, I didn't even know him that well anyway- I would say that to myself.

The streets of New York were freezing cold, little snowflakes falling from the sky- every different and none matched, transparent and white with a touch of icy blue. The trees looked naked, without those beautiful green leaves. People walking by had a lot of unflattering layers to keep themselves from the cold. Somehow this landscape amazed me and had indescribable beauty.

It was about seven after dark with lamps being the only source of light. I wasn't sure where I was going, my dad wouldn't want a 'faggot' back for Christmas. He was ashamed of me, he would always blame my studies as the reason behind me not looking after women. Sometimes I wished I could be the son he always wanted, I couldn't change myself- it wasn't my fault but it felt like it was.

I walked by a man, he looked half-dead- eyes closed, a light fall jacket, a beanie, the brown backpack... Alex? I came up to him to prove myself right, it was Alex. He looked horrible, at the edge of breaking down and dying.

"Alex?" I declared his name with worry in the tone. No, no, no... I patted him on the cheek trying to wake him up gently but no use, so I grabbed him the bridal style went to the first hotel I saw- which didn't look so bad, it had 3 stars, looked pretty neat with white walls and light brown floral wallpaper mixed with white and black. I paid for the night including dinner and breakfast- and surprisingly there was only one room left with a king-sized bed.

The big bed was white and in the middle like in every other normal hotel room, the bathroom was small but modern contain a shower and a big mirror hanging behind the sink. The room itself had vanilla-like walls with mint-flower doodles giving it a minimalistic yet calming design. The two nightstands were at the opposite sides of the bed and were coloured in light brown wood texture.

I put the body of Alexander on one side of the bed and put on the heating warming up the place. Then I put on the television as I sat down next to him- I guess it's time to move on and make new memories forgiving each other? I couldn't help smiling and blushing while looking at his adorable self, he looked so innocent almost like an angel who fell from the sky and like sleeping beauty in the middle of his one-thousand-year sleep.

I looked back at the tv to see an accident- then, like a bullet from a gun, my heart was torn apart.

"Martha" In disbelief opening my mouth muttering her name under my nose trying hold myself.

"N-no... It's a joke"

"Please- tell me it's a horrible joke, nightmare" I mumbled at the edge of tears, that couldn't be- possible couldn't be. I covered my face to hide the waterfall of tears. No, no- It couldn't be. Poor Frances, no... I turned the television off as I saw Alex wake up. He looked at me confused as I couldn't keep it in.

"Jacky?" He asked with care as I noticed he never called me that before but I brought me into even more tears. Alex sat up and hugged me, it felt good. From hugs to cuddles on the bed- it reminded me how much I needed him in my life, it wasn't the same- not after I've met him.

"Jacky?" He repeated again with care and worry in his voice and I could read him like a book from his eyes, his beautiful deep brown eyes. A fake smile appeared on my face as tears strolled down my face still in shock. I had no concept of knowing how to care for a child- while still being in college but as I was her only family I had to bring her in, somehow.

"Jack..." His voice lost hope as well as his eyes lost colour, I hated seeing him like this. I was re-considering if I should tell him or not. Is he still mad at me? Am I mad at him? It doesn't matter, anyway. I have nowhere to go.

I looked deeply in his eyes in melancholy regretting my every life choice. Was it my fault? Did I do it to her? Of course, I did, it's all my fault. It all my fault that I'm in this situation in the first place, god why am I so stupid?

"I-" I started, still thinking if I should tell him or not. I didn't have that much time left, I was lost and he was my only hope at the moment, there was no going back.

"Well- well... You see... There is that one thing that happened, I don't know what to do. I need your help. I didn't tell this anyone because- it's... I did something really horrible" I tried to explain but only made things worse. You really know how to fuck things up, John. I felt my face was turning red as I cried even more.

"John- just say it" Alex responded and looked a bit annoyed at the situation and I didn't blame him for it. It was just hard, but it was because of me. I did it to myself.

"She's dead"

// Wordcount: 1025 [without author's note] Sorry for the short chapter, Also- I asked my crush today and it was a disaster so- I'm sad. Thank you all for the support. And I'm also sorry that I didn't post yesterday and it was because I had a lot of homework and I had to edit a video for the assembly(which in the end didn't happen and I wasted my time) and I'm sorry. If you want to support me- it would be very predicated if you'd comment and vote!

Have a nice day/night.

-T