It wasn't intentional in the beginning. It had started off as just a quick calm down. A way to quickly bring him back to reality. A way to get out of his own head for a bit.
Just a few cuts. That was all it was supposed to be.
Then he went deeper.
And deeper.
The blood surrounding him would have scared anyone else, but for him it wasn't enough.
It could always be worse. He could always be worse.
He wasn't good enough to be worried about.
He only stopped when his little blade got stuck in the wound and he couldn't find it.
After that, he wasn't sure what to do. He just looked at the gaping wound on his arm and watched as blood came pouring out of his body.
He watched with a sad fascination, knowing it wasn't gonna do the damage he desired yet enjoying watching the way the light would catch on the dark red liquid.
A wave of gratefulness washed over him. At least he had no arteries so the blood wasn't splashing everywhere. That would be way too much effort to clean up.
That gratefulness was replaced quickly with annoyance.
If he had arteries, then he'd probably be dead already and have no need to clean.
Moving to rest his head on his pillow, he looked up at his ceiling and imagined what it would be like to finally disappear.
YOU ARE READING
The Impossible Death
FanficDeceit is not okay. He hasn't been for quite some time. The others try to help and understand, but they may be too late. GENERAL WARNINGS -- self harm, suicide, depression, sympathetic deceit
