the year is done
i spread the past 365 days before me binded into individual pages of notebook paper.
pointed to one and aligned my pointer finger on the words and phrases that meant the most too me.
shedded tears onto the poems that ached my heart and writings that bruised my soul. I am no longer victim of the self pity. instead I am no victim at all.
this week i slept in the bathtub, slept for so long my heart learned to float above water again. the bottle left empty, it didn't only take one too make me feel as if my heart can float. i wanted to feel above the world.. alive, free .. instead
I couldn't feel a thing, I've had the common cold for years.
snowflakes falling onto my cupids bow too the very edge of my lips, the taste became familiar after a while.
one more turned to a couple, I didn't realize how much the cold was consuming me, but what can I say?
I've fallen in love.
i no longer needed to see myself to feel seen
i no longer needed to be held to feel safe
i no longer needed sympathy
people
words
things
i no longer needed life itself
i began to wonder what it was that i needed
i searched for x's on maps to lead me to the right destination, maybe a treasure is what i needed to find, a path, a way.
something
instead I found nothing
but myself
lost in the snowflakes
that rush, impracticable feeling.
i had myself, that was all I needed.
here's too another year
