Maplestar's Light

Prologue

--- Prologue

Vilify.

Don't even try.

"You told me you loved me! I went through the agony of bearing your kits! And now you treat me worse than prey. You will regret this, Appledusk. That is my last promise to you."

Mapleshade cried as she woke up. The image of Patchkit being ripped away from her was still so very fresh in her mind. Every time she slept, all she knew was the pull of the river, the cries of her children, the cold of the air around her while Appledusk snarled in her face. She awoke feeling hatred and betrayal and guilt.

How could I have been such a fool?

She should have never made a relationship with Appledusk. The tom was trouble from the moment she met him; in her gut, she had always known, but chosen to ignore it. She had eyes for no other cat - it felt like the only way she could be satisfied. But it had cost her... Everything.

Feeling groggy and sore, she looked up at the sky through clouded eyes.

It's a full moon. There'll be a gathering tonight.

Sighing, the molly got to her paws, cringing at the stiffness that made her joints pop and snap with the act. She might as well get there early - it wasn't like she had much else to do. Mapleshade knew she was almost a shell of her former self by now. She hadn't been able to make herself hunt, or - moreover, make any effort to survive. Water terrified her; she hadn't before respected its power, and she regretted it now. She felt dehydrated and dizzy; every step she took was heavy and dragged on, her pelt snagged on every little thing she brushed by - but it didn't matter. Nobody would be able to distinguish her from the earth, at least, that much was certain. In part, it was relieving. She couldn't take more anger from the Clans; she just didn't have the strength.

She pulled into the bushes on the very edge of Fourtrees, pushing into her usual hiding place and settling in comfortably. No cat had ever come in from the angle she found herself at; she was perfectly hidden, especially so in the darkness.

It was sunset. The Clans wouldn't arrive until Moonhigh. It gave Mapleshade plenty of time to think.

They would be apprentices by now. They would have mentors of their own, and this might have been their first gathering. If they had grown up in RiverClan, they'd be bouncing around Appledusk's paws, chattering nonstop about meeting the other apprentices. Petalkit would show off. The idea brought a smile to her face as the sky slowly darkened. They would make good friends across the borders, share games they figured out with other apprentices. They would have been... Wonderful.

There was a rustle across the clearing. ShadowClan was first to arrive. RiverClan didn't keep them waiting long, and WindClan and ThunderClan arrived at the same time. All four leaders were on the rock before long, and Mapleshade couldn't help a sigh when she looked at the crowd below. ShadowClan began to divulge their news; the molly found herself spacing out, beginning to drift off again...

"We've caught the scent of Mapleshade at the border again."

Her name made her head jerk up, and her eyes widened as she stared towards the leaders. Darkstar was fixing Oakstar with a poisonous glare, which he only returned. "Sounds like you should be checking your borders more."

"Hmph. It figures that ThunderClan wouldn't take responsibility for their own mistakes."

"We did," Oakstar snarled, rising up as ThunderClan began to yowl their protests. "We exiled her the minute we found out the truth. If you didn't want her at your borders, perhaps you shouldn't have buried her kits on your land."

The two leaders hissed. Mapleshade choked. It never got easier, hearing them speak her name and deeds with such hatred. She managed to keep her eyes locked on the scene, though, noticing Heatherstar standing and looking to the sky. Mapleshade followed her gaze, and flinched as she saw the sky begin to cloud.

"StarClan is growing displeased," The rose leader called, pulling all attention to her. "It is best we lay the matter of Mapleshade to rest before they are angered. Darkstar, was that all you had to report, or is there more blame you'd like to lay on the other Clans?"

Darkstar's tail twitched, irritated, but he seemed to know better than to argue with the stars. "There is nothing more for me to report. RiverClan is doing... Swimmingly."

Though no cat dared groan at the pun, the silence that followed his words was deafening, broken only by Heatherstar's deep breath and authoritative voice as she delivered WindClan's news. A few pregnancies, new warriors, nothing unheard of. Mapleshade found herself drifting again halfway through Heatherstar's words, and faded to black before long, settled comfortably into her hollow.

***

Yesterday had been bad. Today was worse.

Mapleshade managed to wake up at dawn this time, taking in the empty clearing for a moment before rising to her paws - and nearly collapsing under her own weight, light as it was. She was sure that under her fur, she was skinnier than a starved squirrel - not that it was hard to see. Her pelt was clinging to her frame, caked on by the gunk that had managed to get stuck to her. Despite the anger she had felt the night Appledusk rejected her, Mapleshade could find no such feelings in her now.

It's not just Appledusk that hates me. Everyone does. The territories aren't home anymore.

She knew if RiverClan or ThunderClan so much as caught a glimpse of her, they would kill her. Not even her mentor, or her family, would accept her again, would welcome her presence. The idea made her paws numb - or maybe they had been already. She had no idea. All she knew now was that she had to leave - before they all made her.

Not that it makes a difference. I'm going to die anyway.

Her paws carried her into WindClan territory. The moors felt cold and barren, and she longed for the heavy forest that once was home. She could feel her bones grind in complaint with every step, and her eyes drooped as she carried on through the grass. Her mind wandered, and she wondered what lay beyond the territories. Maybe I could find a badger and bring her back to murder that foxheart, she thought, vaguely amusing herself with the idea. Her legs gave out quite suddenly, and her heart dropped as she realized she lacked the strength to rise again - she came to terms soon enough, though, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths.

... There are worse ways to die. At least I will see my darling loves soon, if StarClan sees any hope in me.

The world faded around her, and the last thing she remembered hearing were the rush of pawsteps through grass, rapidly approaching. It didn't matter. She was sure she'd be dead before they could question her.