Life Eternal

16

"In times like these-"

It was very cold. Arabella began to wonder if she was lost, she'd never been on the outskirts of town before. Night was falling as the day ended.

Ill.

Just thinking about it, about Tobias being sick, made her stomach turn. It was so clear now. How guilty she felt, knowing how he was Ill since she last saw him, and doing nothing about it.

Was he so ill that he couldn't be in the hospital? That he had to stay home day in and day out?

How selfish she was. How selfish to live life and complain about the people around her, how selfish she was to blame god, while her lover was, ill.

God-

She thought to herself.

Please God. Please dont let this be as bad as my thoughts make it seem.

How helpless she felt. Like a fragil and weak little girl. To know she had no control over these greater forces. Such forces that mere mortals take for granted. Of life and death.

How arrogant we all are.

How pathetic.

Everything was in God's hands.

I've wasted so much time.

Her head began to pound as she thought.

How blind she was.

And to think, how quickly this plague kills, to think that Tobias has been ill for this long.

Perhaps it's not the black death. Perhaps it's merely a cold. Perhaps he's getting better. Perhaps he will recover.

After all, no one who endured this plague, with its retched pain, it's fevers, it's chills, it's fatigue, and the blood it spilled-

No one could endure that for so long. Not as long as the time Arabella and Tobias spent apart.

No, the aches and malaise would surely kill the victim within days. Thus, that's how it has been.

With every patient, with every victim, with every person.

Tobias was simply getting over a Stomach bug or a cold.

Her nose scrunched as she thought. Arabella rubbed the back of her neck and sighed, her steps growing weary, a yawn escaped her, yet she continued to tread on with Tobias as her motivation.

Her eyes trailed up to the purple hue of the approaching night sky.

That's when she caught the glimpse from the corner of her eye. Amidst the trees a lantern flickered on the porch of a house.

Could this be the one?

Her steps were hasty, the leaves crunched and echoed as the wind blew gently with a quiet whistle. The moldy wood of the porch let out a long creak as she stepped up. Hesitantly her hand was still against the door but soon she knocked.

It took a few moments, in which Arabella held her breath, until the door swung open. Only a crack enough for the man to peak through.

Tired eyes greeted her, familiar grey ones, he stood tall.

It was Tobias' brother, Marcus.

"Ms. White-? " His surprised voice soon rang. He scrunched his eyebrows and studied her before continuing. "How may I assist-"

But she was too urgent, too hasty, how childish she must have seemed.

"Is Tobias here? " She spoke fast. She could hear a cough escape from behind Marcus. That seemed to answer her question.

Hearing it made her smile, ready to enter the house and greet him she stepped forward, but Marcus stopped her and hesitated before speaking once more.

"He-" He thought for a moment. "He isn't here Ms. White. "

Her smile faded to a frown. Disappointment was held in her eyes.

"But I swore I just heard-" She began in protest.

Marcus began to shut the door.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You heard nothing. I recommend you go home and rest. It's getting late. Goodnight madam. " He shut the door, a loud slam followed, causing her to jump.

He was hiding Tobias.

Did Tobias really not want to see her anymore? Did he grow bored of her? Did he tell his brother to keep Arabella away?

Was all this a mistake?

Tears brinked her eyes. She had to take a breath before wiping them away.

Her mind swarmed as she walked, in fact she didn't even remember arriving home until she entered her house.

She began to approach the stairs...

"Where in God's name have you been? " Her mother was clearly aggravated. Arabella could only keep her head down. Disappointment flooded her soul, sadness, she didn't even care anymore about the approval of her mother. Or the rest of the world for that matter. Was this what heartbreak truly was? It seemed there was no greater pain than this, to be tossed away.

"I was out. " Arabella's response was merely a whisper. She didn't look at her mother, keeping her back faced to the woman.

"Mr. Francis stopped by. " She could hear the scowl on her mothers lips. "He spoke all about your behavior today. How mindless are you? Show respect, Arabella, That is your husband-"

Arabella whipped around to stare at the woman before her.

"That, thing, is not my husband! " She snapped in a mocking manner. "I wish everyone would stop saying that! "

Her mother grew quiet, looking back to her daughter with disgust.

"Tomorrow you will apologize to him. " Her mother said. "Do not forget the duty you owe to this family. Our name, our wealth, our future rest upon you. Stop acting like such a child, and grow up, Arabella. " She bitterly spoke. "This behavior will no longer be tolerated. "

Arabella shook her head and began to retreat up the stairs, she could feel her mothers eyes bored on her as she did. She didn't care.

Arabella Francis.

How pathetic it sounded.

But this was her life now. Tobias no longer wanted her. She would never be able to marry out of love. Perhaps he never even loved her.

She felt used, tainted.

Perhaps it is time to grow up.

Darkness overcame with the night. Her room was an abyss of this darkness as she laid in her bed. She knew she wouldn't be able to rest.

Arabella curled up, hugging her pillow and sobbing quietly into it, rain soon fell.

God, I can only pray that you forgive my sins.