Life Eternal

18

"Navigate all alone
On this tempestuous sea
To ride with me "

The plan was to leave for the coast at sun fall.

Tobias would get better. Arabella would see to it that he does. She'd devote her time, endlessly, to nursing him. He'd regain his health and his strength.

They'd marry and live an honest life before God. Alone. Together. Maybe even grow crops and live off the land.

Or even have children.

Yes, children. Perhaps one, or two.

No, five of them!

Three rough and tough little boys running around, tending to the yard work, eventually marrying. All of them sharing their Daddy's eyes, hair, looks, and more importantly, heart. They'd be momma's boys and Arabella would love them endlessly.

And two little girls. Daddy's girls. Growing up with their mommy's spirit. Being who they are rather than what society decides for them. One of them could be a writer, or a sailor, or chop wood for the fire place in the winter. The other could ride horses through the fields and along the coast line-salt water spraying in her hair along with the wind. Neither of them afraid of the world that surrounds them. And they'd marry whom they like.

And this family, her family, would be so close, so unseperable, so happy. Because they'd understand each other. They'd give each other freedom.

Arabella smiled as she heaved a large luggage bag onto her bed. It was empty, worn down, and the leather was beginning to peel. But it didn't matter.

None of this mattered. Material objects had no meaning. This house. Her room. This Town. Soon she'd forget it all.

Arabella sat at her vanity and pulled open the drawer. Her nerves seemed never ending but her eyes twinkled, slyly, with excitement. She removed her diary and laid it open on her vanity desk.

It almost felt like her hands were shaking as she picked up the lead pencil.

One last entry.

She thought.

This diary.

This diary would be left behind along with her family, her revolting fiancee, her nightmares, and along with her old life. Along with the rats and the filth and the disease that plagues her life. One last entry meant she was leaving her old self behind as well.

Diary,
3rd of November,

It seems that I'll be leaving soon. I'll be leaving this behind as well.

To whoever may find this,
I do not regret my actions. I doubt I ever will. I plan to live a long and happy life away from the world I've grown up in. Perhaps create a new world for myself. For my future family. For my lover and in God's name.

To my parents,
Mother, father, I couldn't marry who you've asked me to. I didn't love him and I knew I never would. Tobias and I are very much in love. Father, I don't want you worrying for me. I know how you are when stressed.

Mother, I don't want you upset with me. I know how you felt about my doctor. I know how much this arrangement meant to you. I'm sorry that I couldn't marry and provide for our family. But happiness is enough. Money doesn't seem to matter to me. I hope you can learn the same lesson.

I love you both. I regret to inform you that I won't be seeing you again.

-A. W.

She closed the book and moved it on the bed so that it could be easily found.

And so Arabella began to pack. Bringing only the plain and Comfortable dresses with her, her silver hairbrush, shoes, only the essentials she would need. She was already dressed ready to go. A night gown and a large coat to cover her. Her hair in two braids.

Just as she set the bag down and slid it under the bed, a knock on her closed door made her jump.

She gave a slow stride to the door, pressing her hands against it along with her forehead. Yet she did not open it.

"Yes? " She sang out silently.

"Arabella, dear, heading to bed? "Her mother said softly.

Arabella shut her eyes. This would be the last time she heard her mother's voice. Although they had their differences, they were still family.

" Yes mother. " Arabella paused and relished the moment. "I'm just changing now. "

"Well-" Her mother softly spoke. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight mother. " Arabella said quickly. "I love you. "

Something about the atmosphere seemed tense. Sad even.

Her mother was silent for a moment. No doubt, the grey haired woman was taken back. No doubt she felt something was off. No doubt, she'd shrug it off. And no doubt, she'd soon regret that decision. Regret every decision regarding her daughter for years to come. Questioning where she went wrong. Blaming herself. More importantly, hoping for her childs happiness.

But right now wasnt that time. Right now she'd shrug things off.

"I love you too Arabella. " And with that, the woman left. Left for bed. Never to hear from her daughter again.

Arabella slipped away from her door and went to grab her bag. One last study of the room was all she needed in order to know that she wasn't leaving anything behind. Except her old self of course. She pulled up the hood of her coat and went to the window. First, she tossed the bag as gently as she could into the bushes against the stone wall. Second, she began to climb down.

Arabella wasn't the strongest girl in the world, that being said, she had to muster as much strength as she could to let herself down easily. Naturally she clenched her teeth and held her breath while making her way down the stoney walls, cracks and vines.

Once she was down, and after she heaved her bag onto her shoulder, she made her way down the path to the clearing. Just where the hospital sat.

The night would be cool. The air crisp.

The faint neighbor of hoarses could be heard. She had to squint her beady eyes to make out the tired figure of her lover, soon to be husband.

Softly, she smiled.

Upon approach Tobias stood with two hoarses- one white, one black. He smiled at her and held out his hand to take her bag.

"Are you sure you want to do this? " He whispered.

Arabella did not hesitate. Her heart yearned with every beat, it fluttered. A smile graced her lips.

"I want this. " She said.

"Then-" Tobias took her bag and mounted it on one of the hooks from the saddles. He held his hand, as if to help the girl up onto her white hoarse. "Let us go. "