My "Incurable" Flowers (Nagisa x Karma)

Chapter Two-Decoration

Karma

I've been sick for a long time.  Maybe not as long as a lot of people who have what I have, but I say six years is a long time for anyone really.  Being sick, knowing you might just fall and die that day, and not having a real cure for your illness? Of course I would lose hope eventually. There is a way to save me, but it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  Not that many people diagnosed with my illness can actually find the cure. A lot spend their whole life searching, but can never achieve it.  I'm someone who knows I can't find the cure, so I don't try.  I'm not the type that can have the cure.. It wouldn't be right. 

.  .  .

I don't have a plan for my daily life.  I'm supposed to be free, living my own life but my family controls me and everything I do.  They planned my future like they do my everyday activity. I know they just want to find the cure, to help and save me.. But all these hospital visits, the new towns and new faces is not going to help me.  Not much is known about my illness and there is really no one trying to find out more about it.  It is what it is.  My parents just haven't given up yet.  They keep looking while I just walk behind them, waiting for the day they realize it was all pointless. 

And I supposed today might have helped push them in that direction.

.  .  .

It started off like usual, my mother waking me up to tell me I had another appointment at a new hospital.  Getting dressed, eating breakfast with medicine, and walking out the door to the train station.  Everything was like usual.. Until I made it to our second to last stop.  Where my mother couldn't stop repeating how this was the last hospital.  The one that could really help. 

yada yada- big fight later- I find myself with my arms wrapped around another guys back.  A little blue haired male who seemed rather young, but at the same time older? If that even makes sense.  We didn't say anything as he simply just smiled and boarded the train. The one I was meant to go on, if I hadn't left the women with the tickets.  I watched him as he left, curious to where he was going, how he could still be able to smile at me even after I said all those mean things, and why he smelled like lavender.. If that was even a normal thing to smell like. 

.  .  . 

After making up with my mother, we headed to the hospital with my father (like usual) not saying anything about the fight.  Which is what he (probably) thought would be for the best.  I don't know how true that really is, but the silence felt safer than actually talking at that moment. 

I was in the hospital room waiting to have my usual check up.  My father went off to find himself some coffee to stay awake and my mother was.. well, who knows where.  The room was one of those private rooms for guest who were most likely going to be stuck there for a while.  The bed in the corner with just enough space from the wall in order to fit a few machines.  like an usual hospital bed.  The walls, floors, sheets, and basically everything in the room a bright white.  A window on the wall nearest the bed, the opposite from the door.  The window was one of those where you could sit down on. I can't remember the name at the moment..Maybe it will come to me later.  

I wonder how long I'll be staying at this hospital? Maybe I'll have enough time to decorate it.  Add some color to it. Or, like usual, leave the first chance my mother sees that there will be no help at the hospital.  The only reason I'm here is because they have a new drug trial for my illness. Nothing more...