ALLEGIANT

Chapter 12: Part 1

I have the dream again.

The one that I had when I fought with Cara.

Abenegation, my parents, The coffin. Tobias.

    I wake in a cold sweat, the blankets strewn around me. I check the time 4:30. It too early to do anything but too late to go back to sleep. I stand up and lace up my boots and do what I need to do.

    The walk to Tobias' room is short and a cool chill creeps up my spine. When I get there I take a deep breath, grab the handle, and pull. His scent overwhelms me as I walk in and the light pulsing from his number shows me where he is.

"Tobias." I say, stepping to the edge of his bed. He stirs but doesn't wake.

"Tobias,"

I say again, shaking his shoulder harder than I had planned. His eyes snap open, his hand striking out against my wrist jerking me towards him. A scream builds in my throat but I choke it down.

"It's me!" I tell him, he blinks rapidly and let's go. None too gently.

"What are you doing here?"

He asks, sitting up in bed. His chest is bare and from the way the blankets lay his legs could be too.

I swallow, hard.

"I want" no, "I need to talk to you"

He opens his mouth to talk and I realize that I didn't come here to talk If we do we'll end up fighting or yelling.

I lean forward and kiss him.

He pushes me away at first, his hands strong at my sides, resisting.

      My shirt slides up and his thumb brushes the skin above my waist and I gasp.

He pushes again but it lifts my shirt higher and he gives up.

"Tris" he says into my mouth.

He must realize that he could die any minute, any second, and I don't care right now. I don't care about Peter, or the anivials, or the fence or the Numbers or Cara or anyone. Just him.

     His lips open under mine and I push him back, my hands rest on his bare chest the warmth makes me shiver and I move forward, my body presses into his until there is no space between us.

The blankets tangle around his legs as he turns and I fist the sheet beneath trying to get a grip on things. His face in the coffin haunts me and I pull him closer, willing myself to realize that he's real, he'sHere not dead in some other place that I made up.

He stands up, pushing me away slightly as his lips trace mine and follow the line that my birds travel, all the way to my heart.

"Tobias..." I whisper and my hands find the skin above his waistband, he sucks in a breath and stills next to me.

"Tris," he whispers "Tris, I can't stop If you keep doing that."

His eyes are fluttered shut and his cheats heaves. I look at his face and see his jaw clenched.

"I'm sorry," I say and pull my hand away looking up at his eyes.

He laughs, a real and full laugh, sits on the bed, gesturing for me to sit next to him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for"

"Oh" is all I say as I sit.

"You did everything right" he says and I look at him. All the humor in his eyes has faded and he leans back, using his arms to balance himself.
"What?" I say

He sighs, obviously not liking the whole aspect of talking about your feelings."I've been...upset since we learned what Cara knew" he says.
I know that, I think but all I say is "Oh"
He looks at me. "I love you. I've loved you for as long as I can remember, seeing Peter look at you like you're some kind of savior." He scoffs. "He's always looked at you like you were a target in a war. It wasn't until after Erudite that he looked at you differently. You wouldn't notice it though, you never think of yourself enough to wonder what people think. When he kissed you I knew what it meant, and then when Cara said that opposites attract." He cracks his knuckles and I don't know what to say.
"You know how I feel about him, Tobias."
He looks sad, tired, alone. "That was there, his is a different place, a different feeling. You're drawn to him, I can see it. It doesn't matter what way you're drawn to him, you're drawn to him none the less."

I don't deny what he says, instead I ask "What do you mean, why would there be a difference between my feelings inside and outside the fence?"
"I-" I knew that I was about to hear was something that is some kind of secret with Peter and Tobias, I noticed that much, that is until the sound of a loud blaring siren and the stomping of feet down the corridor break us from that conversation at hand.

****

Without a second though we run out the door together, Tobias' grabbed his shirt from the closet and tugs it on as we run and it's inside out. I have the sudden urge to laugh.  We follow the noise all the way to the front corridor.

     

     I look to see Cara, standing blue in a sea of other colors. Old habits die hard I guess as we make our way over to her.

"What's going on?" Tobias asks the question on my mind.

"There's been a breach." She responds, fiddling with something in her hand.

"A breach?" i ask bemused.

"Someone in the fence has made it outside and has traveled the other 20 miles it takes to get here."

At first I shrug it off, it's nothing to think about, I have no one to be afraid of in the fence anymore. Then I think about it. How did they get outside the fence? How did they know to come here? What do they know? What do they want?

Another question comes into my thoughts, Tobias reaches the same conclusion.

"Are they here for us?" Tobias asks, grabbing my hand.