Crush - a Kyman fanfic

last night

Kyles POV

I can't stop thinking about it.. last night. It was like something clicked between us. Cartman broke up with Heidi, again, and I was just.. there for him. I mean.. so were the other guys, but once they left and I stayed the whole night.. I dunno. It seemed like the most chilled night I've had in a while. We just sat and watched movies and ate popcorn, I mean, we've been doing that since we were kids. I don't know why.. but the thought of chilling on the sofa .. alone, shit. What am I thinking- it's literally stupid we just.. did.. the usual. He was being a crybaby over Heidi, doesn't mean anything. Why do I care anyway? It's just Cartman.. god, I'm overthinking everything. I just can't stop thinking about.. being alone with him. It felt so warm. When it's with Stan or Kenny from time to time, it's whatever, just guy stuff, so why do I care so much when it's just me & Cartman? Why can't I sto-
Sheila: Kyle bubby? Time to get up!
"Coming ma!" I yell back downstairs.
"Did I.. fall asleep? I thought.. fuck."
Turns out I got home real late from Cartmans house and dosed off into my own thoughts last night. And this morning.. that's.. not weird, right? Thinking about him- ugh I'm getting off track again. I gotta keep my head straight. I better get dressed before I start spiralling again.

I leave through the door and make my way down to the bus stop, where I can already see Stan, kenny an- Cartman! Cartman.. wha, what do I- ok Kyle, this is ridiculous. This is Eric god damn Cartman! Last night was meaningless. We've done this a million times before. with kenny and Stan.. not alone,, god damnit Kyle stop overthinking! Last night was just stupid same old same old, it means nothing. I exhale. I turn up to the bus stop and stand by Stan. I look over to Cartman who's stood next to kenny at the opposite end. Eric Cartman.. Eric Theodore Cartman.. why are you so... I don't know... why are you an asshole one minute, then it's like.. you're so chill and warming.. god what am I thinking! Why do I keep having these thoughts? I don't..like hi- no no no no! NO. God I am just.. tired right? Yea, that's it, I'm tired. I think up some weird shit when I'm tired. Though this is the first time-
Stan: uh dude, Kyle, the bus is here.
Stans voice interrupts my thoughts as I notice I've literally been daydreaming this whole time and didn't even realise the bus had arrived.
Kyle: oh! R-right.." I responded, rubbing my eyes. I load onto the bus, seated next to Stan, as usual. I really need to keep my head straight, huh. That kid can really mess with my head..

Eric's POV

I don't know how much longer I can take this! Why does that sneaky Jew make me feel like this? What's he doing to me.. my head.. I mean... am I gay? Am I? That's.. no. I can't keep doing this. Something about him.. I can't put my finger on it. He stayed the whole night! With me.. a-and it was.. nice? A nice night with Kahl? I mean.. it was because of Heidi breaking up with me but, for the first time in a while.. I-I don't think I should be with Heidi anymore. All I can think about is just.. Kahl. Whenever me and Heidi watched movies it's whatever, but last night with Kahl.. I just felt so.. shit. No, I'm not g-gay.... am I? Have I been this whole ti- no- shut up shut up shut up. You like Heidi. You.. y-you love..Heidi..Kahl is just.. he's just getting into my head. S-sneaky rat .. no I can't do this. I'm lying to myself right about now. It's like.. whenever I get this weird.. feeling with him... I-I just ..I lash out? Maybe? Why though... if I.. were to like.. Kahl... why do I say shit that isn't true? I'm an asshole aren't I.. oh god, I think I am.. gay. And if I am then Kahl.. what am I thinking. He hates me. What's the point now. This whole time of.. l-liking him I just rip on him, it's pointless. No one has to know.. EVER. I'm just gonna drop this whole "gay" thing. It's stupid.. Kahl hates me s-so I might as well... does he hate me though? God I mean.. he took care of me last night- nope! Not gay. Don't care. I'm straight. *exhale*

I shower, get dressed, grab lunch, head out of the door.
Ok Eric: ignore it. Last night meant nothing. Kahl doesn't like you. You like girls- you like Heidi! You're straight. Ignore the feeling.. a-and it'll go away.

I arrive at the bus stop, for once, not the last one..Kahl isn't here yet- who cares? I don't. It's silent. What am I thinking? The know something. Look at stan and keeny. Just staring out into the road.. hands in pockets... they know. The jig is up. They know I like Kyle.. they know.. something! Not that. God damnit, Eric, say something! Open your damn mouth-
Eric: you guys know, that, uhm-
I can feel there heads turn towards me. Shit-
Eric: me and Kahl watched the coolest movie. Last night.. when you guys left. I-I hated it though! A-and Kahl was just.. a bother all night man! He was just.. ya know, "jewing out" heh..
GOD what am I saying?? I sound so stupid.. they're onto me. I can feel it. I fucked things up again.. shit shit shi-
Eric: y-you guys know that.. uhm.. I-I hate Kahl.. ya know. D-don't tell him I said that though-
Stan: uh Cartman I think.. we get it.
Eric: no you- y-you do?
Stan: yea, I think I've heard enough.
Yet again, Eric Cartman fucks everything up. Oh god, here comes Kahl. Why does seeing him walk towards us with that stupid green hat.. make my heart pound?? God, shut up. Just look forward. Look like you don't care- w-which I don't. I don't care.
The bus arrives before I know it and I'm already loaded on, seated next to keeny.
Keep yourself together, Eric. You're better than this.