Souji and yourself sat on the steps of the Shinsengumi's new headquarters in Edo. You found yourself eyeing the scenery that it had to offer, but while your eyes stared at nature, your mind was elsewhere.
"Hey Souji." You glanced at the emerald-eyed man, gaining his attention. "How is your cough?"
"It's been fine, I'm not coughing anymo-" The man broke into a coughing fit, contradicting what he wanted to say.
"You liar." You pouted, shifting your gaze to the ground. "I know that Dr. Matsumoto prescribed you medicine and diagnosed you, so can you just tell me what it is?"
"It's a secret." Okita placed his index finger to his mouth, symbolizing his unwillingness to reveal it to you.
"What?! Why?" You stared at him in disbelief, but he stayed silent. After several long minutes of just staring at him, you stood up. "Fine! Don't tell me. Since you want to keep a secret from your lover so badly, I won't ask anymore." You stormed off, leaving him there with a dilemma.
A delicious smell was coming from the kitchen, so naturally you followed it. On cooking duty tonight was Saito and Chizuru, so you figured you could lend them a hand.
"Saito-san," You peeked your head around the corner as said man was tasting the miso soup. "If you have other work you need to tend to, please do. I've come to replace you."
"Don't worry about this," Saito placed the tasting dish and ladle down, looking straight at you. "It is my responsibility tonight so I will finish it to the best of my ability."
"And since I don't come over very often anyways, allow me to take your place tonight." You smiled at him. "It would bring me joy to see the man I love eat the food I make." You were referencing Okita.
"I see." Saito was in deep thought. "I had not thought about it that way. If that's the case, I will leave you to it. Thank you very much." And with a polite bow, he left.
"Wow! (Y/n)-san, your rhetoric is extremely effective." Chizuru was amazed that you talked Saito out of a task he was assigned because he took them very seriously.
"That's nothing!" You laughed, putting an apron on. "Just wait until you experience a couple more years with these guys." You began tasting the miso soup that Saito was in the midst of making.
"I sure hope so!" Chizuru looked over in your direction and noticed the large frown on your face. "Is there something wrong?"
"Yeah, tell me Chizuru-chan..." You were unsure of how to word your feelings. "Why would a man keep secrets from the woman he loves?"
She was shocked at your question, fully aware of what secret Okita was keeping from you. "Uhhhh..." Her sweat dropped. "It's probably to protect your feelings!" She blurted. "I mean, if he's not telling you something, it could be because he doesn't want to worry or hurt you."
"That's an odd response." You turned your head, staring at her. "Most women would say something like, 'He must be hiding the fact that he's unfaithful' or anything along those lines."
"Uhhhhh..." Chizuru was getting nervous. "I have to use the bathroom!"
Before she could run away, you grabbed her wrist and began interrogating her. "You know something, don't you?"
"Uhm... yes." She gave in, mentally apologizing to Okita for not being able to keep his secret.
"Is it the reason behind his frequent coughing?" Your eyes narrowed.
"...yes..." Her voice got quieter.
"Do you know the reason?" You asked, anxiously waiting for her response.
Chizuru closed her eyes, this was probably one of the worst decisions of her life. "...yes." What if you hit her for keeping secrets from you? Or even worse, what if you took out your anger on her?
"I see." You released Chizuru's wrist, "How long has he been keeping this secret from me, do you know?"
"Since we were at our old headquarters during Dr. Matsumoto's checkup." Chizuru gazed up at you, worried about what you might say next.
"Okay." Your legs felt weak and so you squatted to the floor, hugging your legs as if you were in a ball. "If he's been able to keep a secret from me for that long, I must have been pretty unobservant." A tear fell down your cheek and you buried your face into your knees.
"(Y-Y/n)-san!" Chizuru squatted next to you, rubbing your back as she comforted you.
"Never mind me." You stood up quickly, staring at the Miso soup. "How about we forget that this happened and finish cooking?"
Chizuru stood up and headed over to the rice. "I suppose we should finish this first..."
You hadn't noticed, but Chizuru glanced at you every so often to check whether you shed tears or not. But after all the food had been made, you helped Chizuru plate it and take it to the men's rooms. Tonight, it seemed that they weren't eating together because everyone was busy doing paperwork.
"Chizuru-chan~" You called her name sweetly. "Can you take Souji's food to him? I don't feel like letting him see my face right now." You sighed, fully aware that your nose was red and eyes were puffy from the occasional tears that slipped out while you were cooking.
"I-I will not!" She refused, standing her ground. Her pure-heartedness was definitely her strength.
Her rejection caught you off guard and you chuckled, patting her head. "I understand. I'll use this time to talk to him then."
Gathering Souji's meal, you brought it to his room, knocking on the sliding door before entering.
"I'm coming in." You announced.
Before you, your beloved Souji was laying in his futon, sleeping peacefully. You walked over to him and sat on the floor, placing the meal by his futon.
"Souji, wake up." You shook his body gently.
"Huh? (Y/n)?" He questioned, swiftly sitting up.
"Yeah." You removed the blanket off of him, instructing Okita to cross his legs before you placed his food tray in front of him. "Eat as much as you can. Now, I have to go serve the others their meals too."
Before you could leave, he grabbed your hand. "Can you leave it for today?" He pleaded. "I want to tell you what I've been hiding."
"Huh?" Your heart skipped a beat at his child-like state. "Sure." You gave in. "Chizuru told me to take this time to talk to you, after all." You admitted.
"What do you mean by that?" Okita asked, staring at you intensely.
"It means that I know you told Chizuru and you didn't tell me. That's all." You averted your gaze as his eyes widened.
"I didn't mean to make you upset." He gently grabbed your chin, turning your face so that you were looking at him. "I just didn't want to hurt you."
The pained expression on his face was everything you didn't want to see. "I know."
"I have Tuberculosis." Okita stated quietly.
Your eyes widened at his words, allowing for them to fully sink in. You began thinking of all the emotions he must be going through and the fact that you weren't aware made it worse. Tears welled up into your eyes and you didn't know how to feel anymore. You began to cry. Okita grabbed you so that you rested in his arms. He stroked your hair and whispered that everything was going to be okay. After awhile, your tears dried up and you calmed down.
"I'm glad you decided to tell me." You looked up at him, smiling.
"I am too." He sighed and then kissed your forehead. "It's the most challenging thing I've ever up against, but I'm so thankful that I have you here with me now."
~~~~~
T^T I honestly love this guy!
