all my stars

truth untold

i was sitting on the rooftop alone when i noticed some anxious ants. they were running in all directions as if something or someone was coming for them, like they weren't sure what was happening around them, something what they didn't want. a home is what they were looking for maybe..or maybe some left over bites of food that people crumbled on so many times already. i found myself staring at them like they were the only things inheriting life. everything stopped right there. i don't know what was so interesting that i couldn't take my eyes off of them. i finally felt my eyes drop and i was crying. i wasn't sure why - so i stood up and made my way to the balcony overlooking the street. no one was at home, not paying attention to me atleast. the streets looked busy ; cars and bikes were rushing and i couldn't make out any faces riding them. everyone was in a hurry, chasing... running... trying to get somewhere they were so desperate to reach. my heart was beating louder and i wasn't crying anymore, the tears were no more just a wet touch on my cheeks. i felt confused. what is so interesting in this ? why do i feel numb ? i felt like chaos yet so numb i couldn't think straight. i made my way back to the place i was before, sat down and looked for the ants again. they looked calm now, i wasn't sitting so close now maybe that's why. i was still staring at them when i realised they seemed more like me. anxious ? yes i felt that. they resembled the actions i was hiding behind this straight face for a while now. i wanted to scream. run anxiously and trash everything that came into my way. i don't know why ? why did i feel like this ? numb yet with too much on my mind. it was overwhelming. why were the ants were running in all directions ? it was later that night i realised i was afraid of my thoughts and they were afraid what could have been mine before i put my foot on them and cease them to death. i was a monster. for both of us. //