Random.Reality.Rants

R.R.R. #10

I sometimes wish I can easily turn off the 'feelings' button inside me. I am not sure if it's my hormones that's kicking in or something else. There are just way too many crazy things that I wish I could just erase. My life right now isn't exactly...unfortunate...but why do I always find something...wrong. I thought I finally found the pieces that I wish to fit into my life but it turns out...I might have picked the wrong ones.

I don't want to blame someone else. I don't want to blame the universe either. I don't want to curse fate or someone mightier..higher.

Could it be that it had been quite a while that I seemed to have not reached out...to my 'faith'. That's why?

These days felt like long hours of senseless...floating on supposedly busy materialistic world. But no matter how chaotic..no matter how busy..how fast-paced...everything is...I still feel like being caught in the middle of the worst traffic jam. Just sitting there...looking outside all the moving objects that I can never have any control of whatsoever.

I only have myself..don't I?

Is that ever a bad thing?

I didn't mind...before. Why now?