Void // Billie Eilish

One

song used: void by the neighbourhood

Billie

"You do realize I'm not 21 yet, right?"

"You don't need to be 21 to go inside, just to drink," Chris replies and shuts the door behind me so the car we came in can drive off.

Chris is my manager, and the two of us have been looking for an opening act for my upcoming tour for the last few weeks. I decided I wanted someone unknown, so we've been going to open mic nights at various venues as well as parts of the city known for having talented street performers.

Tonight we're going to some random bar I've never heard of, in a part of town that isn't spectacular. I want someone authentic though, and I think getting someone who's an absolute no one in the industry yet is a good way to do that.

We walk through the door after I get big Xs drawn on the backs of my hands so the bartenders know not to serve me. I scrunch my nose when I look at them, because they make me feel like a little kid. Just a few more months until I can drink legally.

There's a guy at the mic singing as we walk in, and even though he's got a good voice, it's an instant no from me. He wouldn't really fit in with the whole vibe of my shows, so I don't pay much attention as I walk over to the bar and order a coke.

"So that's a no for the pretty boy over there?" Chris asks as he sits next to me and I shake my head.

"Nah, I don't see it," I reply and thank the bartender when he passes me a can of soda.

We chat throughout the rest of the guys set, which isn't long. I like Chris a lot. I hated the idea of getting a manager because I was worried I'd get some corporate assholes who would try to dictate my personal life, but he's actually a really nice guy and I consider him a friend.

When the guy finishes everyone claps and cheers before someone else takes the stage.

"One last time for Josh!" he says into the mix and everyone cheers again before settling down. "This next act is probably the reason some of you are here, she's become our most popular regular," he starts and people start murmuring excitedly. "It's Alexis!"

He puts the microphone back on the stand then walks off the stage as everyone cheers wildly, a girl about my age taking the stage.

When she reaches the mic, she looks up at the crowd of people in front of her and my jaw drops.

Alexis.

My Alexis.

I'd recognize her anywhere, even though she looks different. It has been two years since I last saw her, but it feels like it's been an eternity.

Two years.

Two years since she gave up on us and ripped my heart out. I visited the day after she told me things were over, but she didn't even leave her cell to come see me. I sent letters while I was on tour but she didn't respond to any of them. I don't know if she even read them. I stayed as up to date on her case as I could through Darius, but slowly I started to lose contact with him as well. Last I heard she was in a witness protection program, and Darius didn't know where that was. I know that her plea deal was approved, meaning that once she finished testifying in court she'd face probation and community service instead of jail time, but I never got updates after that.

Eventually I gave up on us too.

That doesn't mean I haven't thought about her since. Even though she wasn't in my life that long before she left me, she made a big enough imprint to still haunt my thoughts to this day.